In the Classroom

Chapter Twenty Nine: Sad

I sat in detention once again, sitting there while Sam paced around in front of me. He kept running fingers through his hair. His brow was pinched together and a frown was etched on his face over his perfect lips. He turned towards me.

"I don't get it, Joshua," he told me sternly. "I don't get why you're always acting like you don't want to be with me!"

"I do, Sam! I just—" Sam held up a hand to stop me, returning to his pacing.

"Do you know how long I've waited for you? Do you know how much pain I went through—for you?" He threw his hands up in the air, returning his gaze back to me. I was so filled with shame I couldn't look him in the face.

"That's just it," he told me with a shake of his head. "You don't understand. Is that what this is? Are you so...appalled to be in my presence because you don't know anything about what I've gone through for you?" he asked me. I paled and turned from him. He grabbed my chin and forced me to look back at him. I looked at him, horrified of what he might next say. Sam's expression immediately softened.

"Don't...looked at me in such a terrified way, Joshua. Please..." he pleaded. He dropped his hand and looked down at his hands, leaning on the desk. He lifted his head back up to mine.

"I don't know what to do...to make you understand..." he began angrily. I flinched away from his tone, and he took a deep breath to calm himself.

"I need you, Joshua," he told me softly. "I need you...to be by me. I need you to smile. If you want this to end, then I'll end it—right here and now!"

He shook his head at me. "Just stop...leading me on when it's apparent that you don't want me here."

"That's not true!" I told him quickly.

"Are you sure? Then why do you run from me like a terrified child?" he asked me. I closed my mouth slowly. I had an answer for him, but it was not one I was willing to give.

"Tell me...what do you find so appalling about me that you aren't willing to spend one moment in my presence?" he begged me. I turned from him, at a loss for words. Sam put his head on my shoulder in exasperation. I blushed heavily at the intimate gesture.

"I don't know what to do...Joshua," he whispered to me, his warm breath brushing my ear. "What do I have to do to make you love me?"

I shivered at his touch. "Frankly...I don't know," I told him back. He chuckled, his breath ghosting over my chilled flesh. I tried to calm my emotions that were running on high.

I love Sam...but I love Adam. Is that even possible? Can I love two people at once—even if one of them is my brother?! I closed my heart to the onslaught of emotions threatening to take over my body. I didn't know I was capable of this kind of emotion.

"Joshua," he whispered softly. He lifted his head back so he could look me in the eyes. I blushed brighter, his eyes boring into mine.

"Wh-what is it?" I asked him nervously. He gave me a small smile.

"You smell nice," he told me. Before I could blush again, he pressed his lips to mine. Warm and soft, he smelled just as nice as he had stated I had. Before I could register it, the kiss was over. I looked up at him in surprise, and he gave me a sad smile.

"You're free to go for today," he told me. "If you stay any longer, I might do something I'll regret."

Just like that, he was gone.

* * *

"I don't know...am I really doing the right thing?" I asked myself. Adam nudged my shoulder with his elbow playfully. He had consumed over seventeen shots, and he still wasn't hammered. Still, he was acting happier than usual, thanks to the alcohol.