In the Classroom

Chapter Ten: I Don't Dislike You

The day I had just had was about the absolute worst day I had ever had.

1.) Within the first few hours of the day, David had accidentally spilled his coffee down the front of my uniform so I had to walk around in just a tank top, meanwhile, getting my ass chewed out by numerous teachers for walking around "indecently" when they're the ones who had nothing for me to change into. Obviously I would not walk around with a large stain on my coat the color of dog shit.

2.) I had to act like I was madly in love with Jessica, even though I knew we were both disinterested in the relationship, and it was hard to focus and look like I wanted to kiss her when other things were swirling around in my mind.

3.) I failed my math test because I forgot to do the backside of the paper amidst my spaciness today, so I have to go in after school to redo it in detention.

4.) Mr. Nishimoto was there today. And I had detention with him.

How am I supposed to focus on my school day when I'm being nagged by teachers in just a muscle shirt? What would you do if you had to pretend to love someone just to keep your sexual orientation a secret? How the hell am I supposed to act around my teacher who kissed me the night before so passionately. It's impossible to focus on a mathematics test during all of this crap, especially if the teacher is the same one who just made a move on you.

Mr. Nishimoto is gay. The boy I've known since I was a child is gay. My brother's best friend just made a move on me. These thoughts swirled around my head throughout the entire day. It was impossible to do anything other than dwell on anything else. What made it worse—I caught my eyes lingering on the very lips that had kissed me the night before. I couldn't look Sam in the eye. Anyone who mentioned his name soon found themselves wishing they hadn't, as I would turn grumpy, snappish, and very sullen. I found myself dreading the end of school since I would find myself in his classroom once more. For once, I wish I wasn't such a screw up—then I wouldn't ever have to spend another minute of his presence alone. Then again, I wouldn't be the only one in detention all of the time—but that's not to say that I wouldn't be alone with him at the institute.

* * *

I strode into Sam's classroom for detention, my hands shoved in my pocket, my head bowed low. I couldn't bare to look at him. Still, just his voice penetrated through my mind. The sweet, rolling tone that fell from his lips was just intoxicating as looking into his gorgeous eyes. I raised my eyes just enough to see that we were the only ones in the room. Of all the times in the year—my classmates chose this particular test to actually study for.

"Hello, Joshua," said Sam calmly. I took my seat quickly, refusing to look at him. A sheet of paper was slipped in front of me. A completely different set of questions was placed in front of me, and a hand that trailed its way across my desk appeared in my line of vision. I looked at the thin, majestic fingers that tapped the wood of my desk as he spoke to me.

"I have to leave for a few minutes, but I'll be back soon," he told me. I muttered something that I don't even remember saying—probably something about not worrying about taking his time—and Sam was out of the door. I breathed a sigh of relief. The strange mix of cigarette smoke and chamomile scents were too comforting for my tastes. I might have fallen asleep if I reminded myself that I had to keep my grades up in order to keep attending Shuugaku. I had decided that I enjoyed the class. When there, I was able to do anything I liked, as long as it was artistic, I found a new kind of freedom I had never had at school. There, I found guys like me who were artistic, gay, and straight. I also met girls who didn't want to get in bed with me, so that was a huge relief. I went to the school almost every day after school, just so I could my hands on a camera that I usually couldn't afford.