## eye of the beholder

one.

his field of vision gradually grew clear as he woke up. the only thing contrasting the biting cold of the room were the soft breaths of his lover.

nikolai slowly sat up from the bed the pair shared, shifting his weight carefully as to not disturb the sleeping fyodor. silently, he observed his dear fedya. the man's sickly complexion becoming ever more apparent in the scarcely lit bedroom. it was a gloomy and quiet snow day. despite nikolai's efforts, the slumbering man opened his fuzzy magenta eyes, making brief eye contact with the jester before the latter reflexively looked away.

the sight before him was more priceless than any piece of land or chest of riches; his dear kolya, seemingly glowing in the soft blue light. and although he'd only just awoken, fyodor immediately recognized the figure. still groggy, the man sought the warmth of nikolai's touch.

"fedya! you were awake?!" the jester scrambled. not intending on getting an answer, the figure perched on the edge of the bed leaps up and energetically starts toward the door. "i'll make some hot chocolate.. just relax a bit!"

after the sound of the door slamming shut, the raven haired man sat up slowly. he took a long, sweeping glance at the snow blanketed forestry outside of pair's bedroom. all fyodor saw reminded him of the sole object of his affection: nikolai. the feeling of true love had always alluded him—could a man who'd committed the worst sins and told the most vile lies grow so fond of another? it was a question that despite his genius, he could never answer. nevertheless, both men knew that neither of their hearts rested nor did their minds bore when around the other, and it was enough to keep them close. even if his display of affection may be few, fyodor was undoubtedly infatuated with the one man who'd make his heart rate waver— mykola hohol.

outside the foggy window, he stared. he stared at the pair of lovebirds, affectionately rubbing their wings on one another without another care in the world. he stared at deer, poking and prodding at a bloodied crow's carcass, the warm red melting into the gleaming, white snow. he felt... strangely nostalgic, or even sad? or a sense of deja vu, as if he'd watched all this happen before. fleeting thoughts. they passed faster then they came.

out in the kitchen was his mykola. a masterpiece the man was; his back to fyodor, unkempt pale hair flowing down his back like a flowing river, and standing in front of the glittering winter's scenery. he was pure and undisturbed, and from where fyodor looked from, one would not be able to see the blood on the man's hands and roster of crimes he'd committed. he was reality shatteringly beautiful.

"kolya~" the thinner man teased. alert as he was, the white haired man turned to the voice. "happy valentine's day." fyodor looked into the emerald eyes of his lover which widened in surprise as he took out a neatly wrapped parcel.

"a gift?! for me?!" the jester exclaimed. his hypnotizing, viridescent eyes shone with the childlike look of curiosity. "thank you so much, fedya!" at the sight of the jester's face, the aforementioned man's heart melted. the cheerful man's smile seeped from his heart, warm and comforting like blood. "i never thought you'd remember!"

the clown's face shifted and his warm eyes quickly returned to their normal hue— a cold, malachite-like color. "but... i don't have a gift for you. i don't know what came over me! i swear! i just... forgot?" he glanced up at the dark haired man again, this time, his eyes searching for approval and assurance. saying that fyodor was shocked would be an understatement. he knew his dear kolya— he loved holidays and would never fail to come up with the most spectacular surprises for the occasion. so how had he forgotten such an event?

nikolai was just as confused. indeed. how had he forgotten? it wasn't like him at all. "don't worry, mykola." the fickle man smiled— a kind smile, only one for his lover. "our love is a lot more than some silly gifts, right?"

☆ author's note—
i'm back ... it's been a while😵 no idea how this will be received but this is a start for a short fyolai fic i'm writing ! how r u guys ... i haven't opened wattpad in years bro