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Heeseung had no words. He was in a state of absurd dumbfoundedness as if someone had dumped him in a labyrinth with no escape. He blinked his eyes as if he had witnessed a ghastly event. His eyes widened at the girl who had tears streaming down. "J-jinie.."
Yujin was in no state to continue a conversation. She felt dizzy as her vision kept getting blurry and she couldn't make out whether it was from the dizziness or from the flowers. "I..I need to go, Heeseung..."
"Yu-jinie, wait," he said as he held onto her hand, he needed to get answers before she left, "so.... so you're sick because of me ?"
"I'm amazed Heeseung. My disease never stopped, i get it now" she said with hopeless eyes, "i-i need to go..."
Heeseung felt like the world around him had stopped and he did not even realize when he had let go of the hand and she had disappeared from his sight. He stood in the middle of the street like a lost puppy. The sky darkened, signifying that it was about to rain. He had an umbrella. But Yujin didn't.
He jerked off his thoughts and ran across the street to catch up with the girl. The heavens poured as the boy ran through the crowd, his shoes splashing the water and his steps fastened. He crossed the street and heaved a sigh when he saw her running through the rain. He ran to her and pulled her.
Yujin was startled and turned round to face Heeseung, the only person she didn't wish to encounter again.
"Take this with you. I don't want you to drench yourself in the rain" he said and opened his umbrella and handed it to her. Seeing she was hesitant to take it, he held her hand and adjusted the umbrella in her hand.
"Can you stop acting like you care, Heeseung ?" She said and Heeseung couldn't make out whether her wet cheeks were because of the rain or from the tears streaming down.
"Never.." he said softly, his gaze was peaceful and his hair was wet, water dripped from his shirt and he panted for intake of oxygen. Yujin didn't utter a word but held onto the umbrella. "If I need to start loving you for you to survive, i will do it"
"Please Heeseung, don't talk rubbish, you think this is all a play !? You saying you like me would not even matter." Yujin said with a harsh voice.
Heeseung knew she wouldn't speak to him anymore. Today was the last day before Summer break and Heeseung would leave early in the morning, the next day.
"Wish me a safe journey, Jinie" he said, "till then, i hope you'll be able to forgive me"
―
Yujin had thankfully not been stubborn enough and had used the umbrella although she was completely drenched. Thankfully her mother was not at home when she arrived and she had to receive heavy scolding from just her father.
She stood in front of the bathroom mirror, staring at the reflection of hers palely; water droplets dripping from her hair, a shiver passing through her body since the cold air was coming in contact with the water-drenched skin and a dull face ready to shed more tears.
She looked over at the sink in pain and disgust, this was the first time she had thrown up blood along with the flowers. The flowers no longer looked fresh and most of them were covered in reddish brown blood. She had promised her father that she would have the surgery after her confession. But she did not have the will to let him know.
She was entangled in a mess of thorns. She regretted having fallen for this guy, but most importantly, for the first time, she regretted having met Heeseung; she wished she had never met him. She'd have done well off without him, wouldn't she ? She would not have this continuous chest pain, no fear of throwing up, no regular doctor appointments, instead, just a peaceful life.... but without Heeseung..
―
"Heeseung, what is it ? Why did you suddenly call ?" Hana spoke over the phone but no answer came from the other side.
Hana had been busy with her brother's school event preparation but Heeseung had called, which was, honestly, strange because they rarely spoke over the phone. She knew Heeseung avoided making phone calls unless it was with Yujin. So, getting a call from him was, somewhat, special ?
But strangely, Heeseung had just spoken one sentence in the 15 minutes of the call, "Do you have time ?"
Hana rather was happy that he had called, maybe he wanted to talk about their meet ? But he did not speak, it was Hana who did all the talk and Heeseung listened silently. It took quite sometime for Hana to understand something was off and it was not until she heard soft sniffs.
"Seung, are you crying ?" She said softly. He did not reply, rather, his sniffs became louder and soon soft sobs could be heard. "Hey, what's wrong ?"
"It is my fault, isn't it ?" He said after sometime.
"What ?"
"Yujin has hanahaki because of me...and even you knew that..." he said.
Hana was quite amused. Not that she had never expected this but rather because she never thought Heeseung would be so affected by this.
"She did not want you to know..."
"I was such a fool to hurt her feelings. She is suffering all because of me" he said.
"Heeseung, stop. Don't blame yourself, it's not your fault that she fell for you" Hana said and again after a pause, continued, "you fought with her ?"
"How am I supposed to apologize, Hana ?" He said, sobbing continuously.
"You're leaving tomorrow, maybe write a letter to her ?" Hana said with a sigh, "we'll come to your grandparents' on the fifteenth and I'll manage to check on her, Heeseung"
"Will that do ?"
"Are you stupid ? You better think rationally, Seung, and not mess up" Hana said with a frustrated sigh.
―
'Jinie, I'm sorry for everything that is happening to you. It must have been my fault for meeting you, if only you had not met me, you'd not have to suffer from hanahaki. I'm so sorry to have bashed at you that day. Yujin, you are very important to me and I don't want to lose you, please stay with me, please take the surgery, I'll meet you when you come to my grandparents, please do come, I can't stay without talking to you. I'm sorry, Yujin, I promise to care for you more from now. From your Hee'
