Legend [YEONBIN] ✓

fifty-six ; yeonjun

I woke up to beeps and whispers, the all-too-familiar sounds of the hospital. I kept my eyes closed to give myself time to gather my wits. As I let my mind adapt, I realized the whispers were low whimpers, like someone holding back sobs.

I opened my eyes, blinking a few times to adjust to the light. Soobin’s head lay in his arms at the edge of my hospital bed.

“Soobin?” It hurt my throat just to say his name.

“Yeonjun!” Soobin squeaked, startled.

“I’m fine.” I pushed his probing fingers away. “Why am I in the hospital?”

“You started to convulse. It was . . .” He trailed off. “You scared me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t say that. You shouldn’t be the one who’s sorry.”

I shook my head, but it just worsened the dull pounding that lived behind my eyes now. “I didn’t want you to see me like this.”

Soobin couldn’t seem to meet my eyes. Tears hung from his lashes, threatening to fall. My throat tightened at the sight. Originally I hadn’t wanted him to see one of my episodes because I didn’t want him to think I was weak. And now I didn’t because he was obviously worried. I hated to worry people I loved.

I frowned at the unbidden thought. Did I still love him?

Then I sighed. Of course I did—only someone I loved could make me as angry as he did.

“Soobin, come here.” I patted the edge of the bed.

He sat precariously on the edge of the bed so he was more leaning than sitting.

With a heavy sigh, I gripped his hand. It felt clammy, shaking slightly in mine.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m stronger than I look.”

Tears created rivers along his pale skin.

“Don’t cry. I promise I’ll be fine.” I wiped at the dampness on his cheeks and his hand came up to catch mine. It no longer trembled.

“It’s all my fault,” he said again. “My bead is causing this.”

“Why would you say that?”

“Because—” He paused, taking in deep breaths of air so quickly, Im worried he’d hyperventilate.

“You’re scaring me,” I said. “Just say it.”

“It’s inside of you.”

“What? How?” I didn’t realize I’d pulled my hands back until they were cradled against my chest.

“You almost died when my mother attacked you. I didn’t know if you’d make it.” Soobin stood, creating more distance between us. “Your halmeoni told me to use the bead.”

“My halmeoni?” My brow furrowed in confusion.

“It started to heal you, but it wasn’t enough. It needed more gi.”

“Whose?” I asked, but the weight in my stomach told me I already knew.

Soobin didn’t answer. He couldn’t look me in the eye.

“Tell me whose gi.”

“Your halmeoni’s.”

Disbelief spread through me, a wash of ice. I couldn’t feel my toes, my fingers, my heart.

“She wanted you to live. It was her final wish.” Soobin’s hands folded together, like he was begging him to understand.

“‘Final wish’?” I spat out, anger twisting my gut. “That’s why she won’t wake up from her coma.” Realization splashed over me like a winter wave breaking on rocks. “It wasn’t Ara, your mom. It was you.”

“I’m sorry. It was the only way to save you.”

“That’s why you came back? Because you felt guilty after doing this to my halmeoni?” I tried to catch my breath, praying I wouldn’t throw up as nausea curled through me.

“This is what I’m talking about,” Soobin said, urgency in his voice. “Having my bead inside you is making you sick. A mortal body was never meant to hold a fox bead.”

“You had no right.” I wasn’t sure what I was referring to. Trading my halmeoni’s life for me. Saving me only to leave me. Coming back and making me love him again.

“Yeonjun-ah, I’m so sorry.” He reached out, and I jerked back.

“Don’t touch me.” My chest flared with heat that I would have attributed to anger, except it lingered, a warmth that washed over my ribs and into my shoulders. Then it centered in my chest, directly over my heart, like a ball of fire. If I concentrated, I could almost hear another heartbeat, one that mirrored my own. Soobin’s heart. His eyes flashed as he brought his hand down in slow, jerking movements like he fought an invisible force.

A memory tickled at the back of my mind: Soobin saying that a human could control a gumiho if someone possessed their bead.

“That’s why you came back.” I almost laughed at my own naiveté. “Not to help my halmeoni, but because you need your bead. That’s what it’s always been about with us. You lost your bead, and you’ve been trying to get it back ever since we met.”

“No.” Soobin shook his head. “I came back for you.”

“Stop lying!”

The heat in my heart receded into a dull glow. I closed my eyes, concentrating on my breathing. In, hold, slowly out.

When I spoke again, my voice was low but steady. “You’re no better than your mother. Manipulating everyone around you to get what you want.” I didn’t know what to feel. I was worried I’d lost the ability altogether.

“Please,” he begged, grabbing my arm. “I was wrong. I was—”

“Stop!” It seemed I could still feel. And I was angry.

He fell silent so suddenly, it was as if I’d pressed the mute button.

We sat for a moment, I still as stone, Soobin racked with silent tears he couldn’t shed.

There was a knock and Detective Hae opened the door.

“Ahjussi.” I said it like a plea for help. I needed someone to make sense of all this for me.

“Yeonjun-ah, what happened?” Detective Hae stepped into the room, then stopped when he saw Soobin. “Oh, I didn’t know you had a visitor.”

Soobi  hastily swiped his hands over his cheeks to push away his tears and stood.

“You look just like her,” Detective Hae whispered, stopping Soobin in mid-bow.

“Like who?” Soobin asked, staring at Detective Hae with appraising eyes. A tiger deciding if the man in front of him was prey or foe.

“Ahjussi?” I asked, unable to understand the recognition I saw in Detective Hae’s eyes.

“You look just like your mother.” Detective Hae took a jerking step, a person caught in a gravity pull.

“How would you know my mother?” Soobin’s tone implied he’d decided this man was foe.

Detective Hae took a breath and in that beat I held his. I didn’t know what was happening but I somehow knew it was important.

“Because she was my wife,” Detective Hae said. “Which means you’re my son.”