Legend [YEONBIN] ✓

eighteen ; soobin

The full moon brought with it a tension that pressed on my chest. One that came with anticipation and anxiety. I needed tonight to go well. I needed to find my balance again and I’d convinced myself I would when the bead was back in place.

I trotted down the stairs, not wanting to be late meeting Sunghoon. But I came up short when I saw my mother in the foyer with a suitcase.

“You’re going somewhere? Tonight?” At the full moon?

“Yes, I have an important trip I can’t avoid any longer.”

“But I need . . .” I trailed off. I didn’t know what I wanted from mom, only that I felt better when my  mother was around. And tonight was so important.

“I’ll be away for a few days, a week at most,” My mom said.

“Why?” I asked before I could stop myself.

“Business.” Mom’s cold tone was proof that I had misstepped. I actually had no idea what my mother’s business was, only that mom had lived long enough to make a lot of money and that I had never wanted for any material things. That was why, as a child, I’d wondered why my mother still needed to work at all. So one day, I asked mom why she went away so often, and my mother had replied that she was looking for something. The vague answer was patented mom. She never gave up anything she didn’t want to.

“You will behave while I’m gone.” It was more command than request.

“Of course.” I bowed low, staying that way until I heard the door shut behind my mother.

After I watched my mother’s cab pull away, I made my way into the forest. The path to my meeting place with Sunghoon was narrow, the stairs made of worn stone that gave way to dirt and rock.

The moon felt fuller than full tonight, like an overfilled balloon ready to burst. Only, I was the one that might explode. My skin itched like a thousand bugs crawled over my body. My stomach turned somersaults, as if warning me that I was running perilously low on gi. I needed to finish the ceremony and feed. Once I fed I’d feel better.

I found Sunghoon at the base of a gnarled tree that had lost all of its leaves to late fall. The moon peeked through the naked branches to cast twisted shadows on the shaman as he set up an altar. On a small wooden table sat a copper bowl filled with water and a bowl of sand holding lit incense.

“I’m almost ready,” Sunghoon said, without looking up.

“Will it be quick?”

“The ceremony will.” Sunghoon bit his lip, checking a list of hastily written notes.

I accepted the half answer. I understood they were both in uncharted territory.

“Sit.”

“How did you learn about this ceremony?” i asked as I sat across from Sunghoon. The question was innocent enough, but it brought sadness to Sunghoon’s eyes.

“My mother wrote about it in one of her journals. She loved to study other faiths and beliefs from our history. My halmeoni said it made her a better shaman.”

I noted Sunghoon’s grief. The yearning of a boy who’d never known the people who bore him.

“I’m sure she’d be proud of you. Both of your parents would.” It was a generic platitude, but the best I could come up with.

“All I can do is try my hardest to live up to their memory.” Determination brightened Sunghoon’s face. And I thought that this Sunghoon with his strong eyes and set mouth was beautiful.

“Let’s begin.” The shaman took deep breaths, his eyes still glued to the paper in my hand. “Do you have the talisman?”

I pulled it out, handing the envelope to Sunghoon. The talisman looked no different from the yellow bujeoks Sunghoon made in his own shop.