In Her Mind

1.

RUE

Today. It's today. We're moving today. Time to start a new phase of life, again. Yay. Most of my life, I've gotten through the hard stuff by just saying, "It is what it is", but I don't think it's working anymore. Well, it is what it is.

Changes are hard. Not hard to get adjusted to, hard to accept. Like the time we moved from a city, I would imagine visiting the city again, maybe even live in it again. The slight possibility of things happening my way is what keeps me going. We moved houses after changing our city because of the air. My 1 year old brother kept getting sick and we couldn't risk it anymore. So we moved. Then my dad got offered a job with higher income, but his office was far away. So we moved. Now, we bought a house near the suburbs. So we are moving.

I get dressed and help my mom pack up the personal things which we will be taking in our car. I label my boxes as my dad comes in the kitchen and kisses my mom. My parents relationship is strange, but I try not to think about it too much.

"School starts tomorrow?", I ask my mom.

"Yes. Make sure your keeping up with the grades, Rue." My mom replies.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah."

My parents were quite casual with my grades, until soccer happened. I would spend hours and hours practicing and, surprise surprise, my grades started slipping. Maybe it'll better after we move.

After we're done packing we haul all the boxes into the car and get a final look at our ex-home before we say goodbye to it. It's all very Hollywood-y. I wasn't very fond of this house but I'll miss my friends. I can imagine visiting them every now and then, which makes moving easier.

The car ride was mind-numbingly boring. My dad kept putting old songs and I eventually got bored of it. I plugged my earphones as I look through the window. I feel like a main character in a high school movie where an angsty teen contemplates her life decisions because her boyfriend broke up with her. Only if that were my life.

As soon as we get to the new place which I'm going to have to get used to calling home, I run to the grocery store because I need some snacks to get me through my first day.

And that's how I find myself in the snacks and drinks aisle. There's not many people in the store. There's and old man trying to buy- woah. He's trying to buy condoms. I shove a laugh down my throat as I move along. At least the neighborhood is interesting. As I pick up two Pringle's boxes a movement in the next row over catches my eye. I peep through the shelves and holy shit. Like actual holy fucking shit.

I see the prettiest girl I've ever seen. She not like the fake sort of pretty. No make up, no plastic surgery, no effort. She's got chin length dark brown hair, brown eyes that I could stare into for hours, long sharp nose, and full lips. She's wearing a crop top with blue jeans. My mind is so focused on her that I don't see the guy next to her. He's tall, handsome and looks like a jock. The type every girl goes for. And they kiss. Of course they kiss. Obviously, every girl I like is straight. Obviously.

I quickly look away. I get out of the store as soon as I buy my things.

I am not looking forward to school. Or my practice. Which is quite unusual considering that's the only thing I look forward to. Ever.