Be My Anchor

Chapter Ten

Gabe tried to get me to try again, but I refused. That feeling...I didn't want to feel it again. You didn't know true terror until...well until you did. He gave up pretty quickly. I knew he didn't want to push me too hard. Thank God for that.

I spent the rest of the time trying to get used to sitting by the water. I was jumpy, but at least I wasn't panicking. You'd think I'd be used to it after being in a boat for days, but it was different.

Here, everything was a reminder of where I was: the sand, the breeze, the splashing. On the boat, I could pretend we were on land as long as I stayed below deck and didn't look out the window.

I was secretly relieved when lunchtime came and I had to leave Gabe. I was desperate for an excuse to leave the beach.

I made my way to a large food pavilion with bright yellow poles. It was surrounded by green and far enough away from the shore that I felt safer here. They were serving lunch buffet style, so I got in line behind my family. They were all, once again, wet.

A drop of water rolled off of Mom's red hair and fell in slow motion onto my foot. A shiver ran through me as I remembered standing in the ocean just a couple of hours ago.

The fear was getting hard to shake. I thought I was making progress but now it all seemed impossible.

As we sat down with our food, I saw, out of the corner of my eye, Tristan and Rhea eating together. I wondered briefly if they were talking about me but immediately scolded myself for being so self-centered. They were probably just enjoying their time together.

An unexpected pang of jealousy hit me at this realization. I shook my head, trying to get rid of it and feeling a little disgusted with myself. I didn't have a right to feel jealous about Tristan when I've been spending all of my time thinking about Gabe.

It was weird to think that just a couple of days ago I was playing mini-golf with Tristan. We almost kissed that day. That moment seemed so far away.

"Are you listening to me?"

I blinked a couple of times. My eyes were dry from staring off into space. Mom was looking at me with disapproval.

"Sorry," I said. "What were you saying?"

"We were discussing what we should do after lunch," Mom said with irritation.

Luke pushed his hot dog bite to the side of his mouth to speak. "I want to go snorkeling again."

"Don't talk with your mouth full," I said pointedly, but he didn't seem to hear me.

Dad pondered this for a second before saying, "We only have a couple of hours left. I don't think we have time to go snorkeling." Luke frowned before deciding that his hot dog deserved more attention than the conversation. Dad offered a substitute, "We could always just go to the beach."

Mom nodded in agreement. Even Luke seemed content with it, but I said nothing. I had just escaped the beach. I didn't want to go back. But it was already decided: I was going back to the beach and anything I could have said would only cause disarray.

I really can't bail on them again, can I?

~

Lunch had never passed quicker. Before I knew it I was back on the sidewalk looking for a spot on the beach, except this time I had different company.

They didn't care too much about the crowds, so we ended up in a spot that was loud and rowdy with people. Everywhere I looked there were flying beach balls, people chasing each other, kids building sandcastles, and everything else you could think of.