After that incident, Stephen and I went upstairs and cuddled. He lay on my stomach, he said something a long the lines of you're chubby, well have to change that. I was deeply hurt, but also thought he was joking so it went on deaf ears.
The shared house wasn't ideal but as long as we could be together nothing mattered, until Stephen told me he had out standing arrears on the rent and the landlord was threatening with eviction. We didn't want to take the chance, and Stephen didn't want to pay the money. So I had a thought, what if we moved to my parents? There was enough room and Stephen could pay lodge? My family wasn't overly keen, but to keep me happy they reluctantly agreed.
Living at home with stephen, was great, brilliant in fact
I worked for KFC, and obviously Stephen worked for a holiday park company, we didn't see much as much as we wanted to but we had to deal with, we had to provide some sort of income.
Although we worked, money was hard.. Stephen suggested I took out a loan in my name as he had a bad credit rating.
We tried a couple and one accepted our request, wonga. I knew nothing about loans and the interest rate of paying it so I was happy with the £400 pound in my back. With that we went shopping, we had a lovely meal. As we approached home Stephen saw a motorbike being advertised that he was interested in and it was only £150 I said he could borrow the money and he said that was fine, until he decided to start an argument, he pushed me about, told me I was nothing and he didn't want to be with me and wanted to move back to his shared room, I was heart broken. I sobbed and sobbed and pleaded for forgiveness, it wasn't my fault but he made me believe that everything always was.
I still sobbed until he came round, as soon as that was over everything was brilliant again and he bought his motorbike.
At this point Stephen had found a new job as a I.T technician at a local PC world, and I was working full time at KFC. We didn't see much of each other and he became irritated.
Stephen use to visit me in work on lunch as it was five minutes away, it was nice. One evening I had finished late and found him at home on his laptop, from the previous episode with the girl I checked his face book, I know I shouldn't have but I had a horrid feeling in my stomach. Stephen went to the toilet and I checked it. I found messages to an old friend who happened to be a girl, they seemed close and flirty. He even invited her to come and live with him. I didn't understand that as he lived with me? How much could I take of the decievment, the lieing and the fraud behind my back. I loved him, so I always tried to shove it off.
Within a couple weeks things weren't great as we didn't see much of each other, he always seems frustrated that he couldn't spend as much time with me, he made guilty for earning money, for having my own space, he told me we should give up our jobs as we could sort something out with money, so I did. I gave up everything to do with work, how much more would make me feel bad?
A lot in the next few months.
