We were going towards in the classroom, with Cyclops just behind us. Saisha was trying to talk to me, but I kept my face impassive and walked on in silence. She looked a little disappointed at my lack of communication. Cyclops didn't say a word to either of us, and just packed up her stuff as soon as we entered the room, and left. With five minutes to spare. This was unheard of, Cyclops leaving a class before the bell rung. I was worried about what would happen at home. "Aunty's gonna kill you, mate", Samir gave voice to my thoughts. I gulped. I knew he was right. Mom was crazy about discipline. I wasn't allowed to watch any violent sports. I wasn't allowed to get into fights with anybody. I wasn't allowed to use my sarcasm, which would usually lead to a fistfight. Okay, I know most people aren't exactly encouraged to do this stuff by parents. But I could guarantee that if other people did any of these, the repercussions wouldn't be half as devastating as what would happen to me. I'd be grounded for like a month or something. And being grounded doesn't just mean staying put in the house. It means complete shutdown from the world: no internet, no phone, not even the landline. All this for such a trivial issue. She'd send the driver to pick me up after school, the only time she ever did so. Dad didn't say anything, as usual. He didn't have an opinion on anything connected to me. He'd be happy in his world, and wouldn't say anything, no matter what I did. He'd give me as much money as I wanted, though. That's why he didn't seem as bad as Mom.
I didn't have an exactly normal family. Mom was this control freak, who wanted me to grow up holding her little finger, never leaving it. She was a tad too overprotective. She would still come sit with me every night and ask if I did my homework. That's how I learned to lie so well, I guess. My mom never knew that I was the king of sarcasm at school. She thought of me as the kind of student who would suck up to the teacher, and that's exactly what she wanted me to be. She had my whole life planned out for me. I was supposed to become an engineer. Then I was to get a six-figure package and work 'hard' for a few years. Then I'd be married off to a woman who would belong to a 'respectable' family. And she had to belong to our community. I know India is becoming increasingly modern and such norms are soon dying out, but apparently not in my house. It was all planned out, and I had no say in it. That wasn't surprising to me, though. As a child, I wasn't allowed to choose what colour my bike would be. There was no way Mom would let me chip in with suggestions regarding important issues like my marriage, my future, or my life.
My Dad was the reason I hadn't run off from home. I mean, he wasn't exactly a normal dad either. He had no interest in whatever I did. I was supposed to deal with my stuff on my own. He would never attend my PTMs, but the good thing was, he wouldn't remind Mom that there was a PTM, otherwise there was no way in hell she'd miss one. He would keep mum whenever he got a call from school or tuition teachers. That's why I always gave his number everywhere. But Cyclops had found out that Dad wasn't gonna make me do anything forcefully. It was she who made me register Mom's number as well. Now I come to think of it, she was an old hag. And yeah, I'd never run out of pocket money as long as Dad was there. He'd give me whatever amount I asked for, and never demanded where I was gonna spend it. I know you might be thinking he isn't a good parent, but hey! If you've got a mother like mine, you need a father like mine to survive. Otherwise you'd either end up having no control over your own life, or you'd go mad.
I had still no idea what I was gonna do. Hottie had called up Mom, not Dad. There was nothing I could do except frantically hope that Mom hadn't answered her phone and Hottie had ended up speaking to Dad. There was no other way I'd be able to save myself from getting grounded. So basically, there wasn't anything I could do about that problem. So I concentrated on the one I could do something about.
The bell rang. It was recess. Samir was going to ask Bipasha to become his girlfriend today. I had no doubt as to what her answer would be. Something had to be done if I had to maintain friendship with Saisha. "Okay, mate. I'm gonna go washup, grab a roll from the canteen and then ask her out towards the end. See you, man. Wish me luck", Samir said, winking.
"Wait up. I'll come with you to the canteen."
I had begun to formulate a plan that would temporarily prevent Samir from carrying on with this stupidity. We washed our hands and headed towards the canteen. We passed Bipasha and her girlie butterflies fluttering about near the water tank. Samir had a big smile on his face. "Remember, we have to eat something first. I'm starving, and you must be too", I said, so that he might not get any ideas and start throwing proposals around right now. He mumbled something and we entered the canteen. He bought a roll and came out, surprised. "Just a Frooti? I thought you were starving?"
"Lost my appetite", I muttered, somewhat unconvincingly. He shook his head at me, and said, " Okay, man. I'm gonna do it." I poked the hole in my tetra pack with the straw and started sipping. I started walking ahead of him. As usual, there was a huge rush just outside the canteen, with atleast a hundred hungry teenagers pushing each other to get ahead in the line. I walked on a few paces, with him just behind me. He didn't even notice that I was no longer sipping the Frooti, but holding it down, with the straw pointing straight at his crotch. His eyes were busy scanning for Bipasha. I squeezed the tetra park hard and his pants were smeared with the liquid. He didn't notice for a moment. Fortunately for me, Pooja Goel did. She had the loudest mouth in our batch, and no respect for anyone. This was a dangerous combination that had sent the images of many students tumbling down. "Oh my God, Samir wet his pants!", came the nasal shriek, and laughter ensued. I know, we were all seventeen, just an year away from adulthood. But come on. Someone wetting his pants is still just as funny as it was when we were seven. Everyone was looking at Samir. He looked down in disbelief, and saw a dark triangle forming at the front of his pants. Bipasha and her friends heard Pooja, and started giggling. Samir looked embarrassed. There was no way he'd be able to talk to her for atleast a week now, let alone ask her out. He left the spot immediately, but now the damage was done. I was feeling bad that I was the cause of my friend's embarrassment, but I was happy with how the plan worked out. There was no other way I could have stopped this from happening today. The main plan needed atleast two days to be executed, and now I had more than enough time to put an end to this madness. It was a close shave, though. I was kind of proud of myself. Well done, Kabir Malhotra, said a voice in my head. Well done.
