Discovery

71.

There were no words to describe what I was feeling. No words could express the loss I felt, the sadness that consumed me, and the grief I had after losing my sister.

What happened after her death was a blur to me.

I remember Sirius Apparating us back to Grimmauld Place. I remember walking up to my room and locking the door. I remember lying in bed, too numb to cry, just praying that this was all a bad dream. 

But it wasn't.

I remember hearing the cries of my mother when Sirius told her what had happened. I could hear the heartbreak in her sobs, and nothing could make me forget that.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed since that horrible night. I stayed locked in my room, refusing to leave for any reason. Not to eat, not to shower, not even to comfort my mother. 

The only person I saw was Mrs. Weasley. She brought me plates full of food, day after day. I never touched a single one, but that didn't stop her.

She would also tell me about Fred: every day he had been coming to Grimmauld Place to sit outside my bedroom door. Every day Molly would tell me he was out there, and every day I would shake my head.

I wasn't ready yet, and I didn't know if I ever would be.

***

"Ella, please," Fred was outside my door once again, pleading for me to let him in.

A week had passed, according to Molly. It had felt like an eternity.

I kept waiting for Miranda to barge in, to tell me to get over myself and stop moping around; but she never did. She was really, truly gone.

But I knew she would yell at me if she was here. She would call me lazy, pull off my blankets, and drag me out of bed by the ankles.

I gathered up the little courage I had, and pointed my wand at the door: "Alohamora,"

The door clicked, and swung open immediately. Fred stood in my doorway, looking worried and frightened. When he saw me, his face softened.

"Ella..." he muttered, hurrying over.

He hugged me so tightly, I thought I would explode. He was warm and his embrace calmed me. I needed this comfort, this connection. I felt the numbness slip away, and tears streamed down my cheeks as he held me close to him.

We stayed like that for a long time. When he finally pulled away, I was sobbing.

"I'm so sorry," Fred said, rubbing my back. "I can't imagine losing George. She didn't deserve that."

I took a deep breath. I wanted to spill everything on my mind; even though I hadn't spoken in a week, I had done a lot of thinking. Before I could stop myself, I let it all out.

"You know...I used to always tell Miranda that she belonged in Slytherin." I said quietly. "She was rude, stubborn, bossy, and selfish. I never understood why she was in Gryffindor."

Fred nodded. He looked as if he was really listening, so I continued.

"Now I do. She pulled me out of the way when a Killing Curse was shot in my direction. She saved me without hesitating. She was willing to die for Sirius— she did die for Sirius, and she barely knew him. Sure, he was her father, but she wasn't close to him like I was. And she still sacrificed herself. She was brave until the end... like a true Gryffindor..."

***

Going downstairs was harder than I expected. I didn't know if I could face Mum or Sirius after what happened. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to try.

"They need you right now," Fred coaxed. "Just as much as you need them."

He held my hand as we walked to the study, where my mother and Sirius resided most days, just reading together in silence.

I knocked on the door.

"Come in," Sirius said.

I looked at Fred, who nodded, and I pushed open the door.

Sirius and my mother looked frozen when they saw me. For a moment, no one said a word.

"Ella..." my mother finally jumped up from her seat and embraced me. "I am so sorry, honey."

Sirius joined us moments later, and I felt safe wrapped in both their arms. Our family was broken, but we were still a family.