Discovery

33.

Author's note:
*This chapter is going to discuss some more serious topics, such as mental illness and panic attacks. Please read at your own discretion. *

The music from the Great Hall echoed into the corridor. I sat on the floor and watched at least ten other girls sob into their friend's shoulders.

I didn't know what to do. I had no desire to go back to the hall and face Dean, but I was also tired of listening to the cries of teenage heartbreak.

I eventually stood up and walked down the hallway, barefoot, because my shoes were still at my table.

I wandered down corridors, not sure where I was headed. I made my way out of the courtyard and all the way down to the Black Lake without a second thought.

As I sat down in the snow, tears started to form in my eyes. They slid down my face and onto my dress.

"This is stupid," I said aloud to myself. "It's just Malfoy. He just said that to get under your skin."

But the tight feeling in my throat and the pounding in my chest did not go away. I felt as if everything was closing in on me. My hands were shaking and there was a ringing in my ears.

I cried harder. I felt as if I was about to die. But why? I had been fine a couple minutes ago.

"You're not going to die," I muttered. "You're overreacting. You're fine."

Everything got blurry. My head was aching terribly, and my hands were still shaking.

"You are not a freak. You are not a freak." I whispered to myself, over and over.

But the more I said it, the less I believed it.

"You are not a freak."

"Ella? Are you alright?"

I looked over my shoulder and saw Hermione hurrying toward me. I cleared my throat and tried to wipe away my mascara-stained tears.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

I tried to speak, but no words came out. This only made the panicky feeling worse.

"Ella, are you hurt?" Hermione asked, this time with more urgency in her voice.

I shook my head slightly.

"Can you tell me what's going on?"

"I— I don't know..." I croaked.

"What's wrong?" she questioned.

I couldn't form words. I let out a loud cry. Hermione quickly sat down next to me and took my face in her hands.

"Hey, listen to me. It's okay, you're okay." she said reassuringly.

Hermione sat with me for what felt like hours. The feeling of death slowly slipped away, and I felt somewhat fine.

"What was going on?" Hermione questioned when I had finally calmed down.

"It's so stupid," I said in almost a whisper. "But I felt like I couldn't breath. Like I was dying."

"Did anything happen? Was someone mean to you? Hurt your feelings?"

"Well, just Malfoy, but that usually doesn't cause this." I replied.

"I'll look into it, okay? Maybe you're just stressed."

"I hope you're right, Hermione."

"Aren't your feet cold? We should go back and dance. I think someone might be waiting for you." she said with a small smile.