Back to you

just a fantasy

"I think I'm gonna take off now"

His words bring me back to reality after getting lost in a fantasy life that I have found myself dreaming of over the past few weeks. Kind of like those scenarios you sometimes make up in your head before you doze off to sleep. A fantasy life where he and I never divorced back in 05. A life where we found out I was pregnant together. A life where I didn't have to go into hiding for all those months. A life where we built the nursery we always talked about having one day. A life where we raised our daughter as a happily married couple, all together as a family. But even after all that dreaming of this "Perfect life" I've always known it will forever remain just a fantasy.

"Oh okay" I say even though I do not want to let go of his embrace, I eventually give in loosening my arms from around his waist before taking a few steps back. Although being wrapped up in his arms is one of the most comforting feelings I know, I don't want to come off as too dependent on him. Even though he has made it very clear he wants to be there to support and help me through this situation. I need him to know that I am capable of handling it on my own. I just don't want to.

"Did you want me to help you clean up?"

"Oh no, Don't worry I've got it but thank you for the offer" Shaking my head whilst patting his chest "Go get some rest. It's been a very long day"

"Are you sure? You've definitely had a longer day than I have" He tilts his head and let's out a little laugh at his comment which makes me repeat his actions.

"Yes I'm sure, Plus half of the dishes have to soak because of the sauce anyways so it's not a very big clean up tonight"

"Okay, I'm taking your word for it. Well, Thank you for dinner Jen. I really appreciate the phone call earlier today." As we approach the front door he suddenly stops before making direct eye contact with me "I just want you to understand I'm going to be here whenever you or Leilani need me. Okay?"

"Okay, Thank you for everything today"

"No, Thank you. I'll be calling first thing tomorrow morning to check in on you and Leilani"

"I will be waiting" He pulls me in for one last hug before he kisses the top of my head, just above my forehead.

"Bye Jenny" I watch him walk out to his car "Bye" I say just above a whisper waving to him as he pulls out of my driveway and accelerates off.

Just a fantasy?