The world is big, but not big enough

1

Shi Qingxuan stares at him with worried eyes. "Lianlian?" They asks cautiously. Xie Lian in turn, collapse onto the floor, bringing his hands up hit his head. "I'm sorry." He mutter. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm sorry."

《❽ years ago》

"Xie Lian I can't do this anymore." Mu Qing says suddenly appearing in the door way of the kitchen. The younger turns around face twisted into concern. The dishes he was washing discarded. His brown hair tied up in a high ponytail. Pulled further by his furrowed brows.

His eyes shine with worry and Mu Qing almost feels guilty. "Mu Qing? Is it your mother? Don't worry I know she'll get better soon, I'm almost positive." Xie lians says trying to soothe the boy. "She's in the best place."

The outstretched hand it's shoved away harshly and Xie Lian tumbled back against the counter. "No you don't get it. You have everything, and nothing has ever been taken from you ever!" He shouts. Xie Lian steadies himself. Face calm as ever. "Mu Qing... it's okay. Don't worry." The younger soothes gently. But his eyes hold nothing but pain.

Clearly those words hurts. Mu Qing has no idea what his life looks like right now. It's not the worst of the worst, there always someone worse off, but it's really not great either. He's struggling just like Mu Qing is, he's just hiding the problems well.

"Shut up! Please just shut up!" Mu Qing begs. Xie Lian freezes and lets the boy yell at him. "My mother is dying. She's dying Xie Lian. I can't stay here while she wilts away. I won't let her be alone. I- I can't do this." He says. "I can't keep looking after you."

Xie Lian had expected this too. He also knows what the next words are going to be before they are even spoken. "I'm leaving." Mu Qing says flatly, walking out of the kitchen. And Xie Lian follows him silently, stopping a way away from the door to watch. He doesn't try to stop him.

The front door to their shared house slams shut and Xie Lian just stand there. Still and blank. 'I can't look after you anymore.' It's true Mu Qing and Feng Xin are older, it's one of the reasons he was allowed to move out so young, but he didn't realise how much of a burden he was.

Then a new door opens and someone else speaks out. "Xie Lian? Mu Qing?" Said boy turns smiling. "Yes Feng Xin?" He ask like Mu Qing didn't just walk out on them, him. "Are you okay?" Xie lian asks gently. Feng Xin nods looking around. "Are you?"

The younger smiles. "Of course I am, but Feng Xin I have a favour I need to ask of you." He says eyes glossy with more than just emotion.

Feng Xin pauses, noticing the subtle changes because he always will. Feng Xin will always know. "Of course, anything you need, tell me, what wrong." He says walking over to grasp the boys shoulders. Xie Lian pauses his smile. "Well I wanted to tell you both together, but Mu Qing has just left, but I-" He pauses swallowing. "My parents have asked I move back in with them." He says slowly.

"What? Really?" No it's a huge lie. His parents don't even like him. They want nothing to do with him and all over some stupid money. Well no his mother did want him back, but her love for his father was far supreme.

Xie Lian nods. "Mu Qing is very stressed about his mother right now. And you're working on your scholarship. So I'm going to move out. Can you two can have this place?" He says.

"Xie Lian-" The younger shakes his head grappling the boys hands. "Feng Xin, you're my best friend, I trust you like no other. It's the same for Mu Qing, but it's better that you-" He laughs not finishing. 'It's better you cut ties with me.'

"I've already changed the name at the agents. This place is yours to do what you like with." He beams. "All expenses payed for. I'll be out of your hair by the end of the week, if Mu Qing isn't back by then, tell him I've left and he'll come back."