Slowly and steadily, it repeats in my head like a forever looped image. The dreams, I can't keep them locked away, they won't stay down. They declare that I become obsessed, that I think of nothing else, but it hurts to. I've done it once already. Obsession is the last thing my heart needs, and definitely the last thing she needs. She already knows I have feelings invested in her and it's only a matter of time before they grow out of my control. Where did they even come from? Was it from the cute little phrases that she says or the hurt she has inside her? Was it, in fact, that feeling and fright of abandonment that she has that brought her to my attention, or was it merely just her outward appearance? I'd like to say it's only one of the two but I have a feeling it's something different, something unknown. I have a feeling that it's quite deeper than what it seems. How deep? I really don't know. All I do know is that it's something I don't know of. Something only "adults" know how to explain (I wish). Maybe it's that old "when a man loves a woman" speech, or maybe it's hormones. Maybe and hopefully it's the fact that I'm tore up inside and I need someone to repair it. Maybe it's just me, over-thinking things and taking every little thing out of proportion.
Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe I AM obsessed.
Maybe I'm dying. Maybe I'm losing it all.
Or maybe it's just me.
