Secrets & Lies

Part 5

„What?" my voice trembled, suddenly I felt shame , I immediately reached out for my coat and pulled it over .

„Apologize accepted Joy. Go home Sweetheart, surely your Boyfriend is..!"

„Shut up Tae!" I cut him off. My eyes filled with tears. Is this a joke ?

„Oh come on , did you really thought I was still cuddling or anything like that?" his grin was like a punch in the gut.

I got up and went straight to the Door, just wanted to get out of here. When I was about to open the door , he said :

„Damn you were really good!"

I couldn't stop my tears anymore and  left and   went to my car crying. It took me a few minutes to calm down somehow and then I drove straight home.

‚What did you expected Joy?!' My inner voice said to me. It was just Sex, nothing more and you know that. But I felt like I was being dumped , used, I felt ashamed.

When I arrived, I was glad that Jimin wasn't yet there. I took off my Coat and noticed that I had nothing on except my panties. The lingerie was still on Tae's couch.

I stuffed both , my panties and the coat, in a garbage bag and immediately went to shower. I cried, hated myself. How could I let it come so far?

I put on my pajamas, made a cup of green Tea and reached for my phone. Still tearing up.

12 missed calls .... Jimin

2 Text messages .

PJM Babygirl you must be asleep right now. Don't wait for me . I'm staying at a friends place.

PJM I love you Babygirl.

I knew he was lying , I knew he would be with that bitch he fucked at the Club. I grabbed my cup of tea and threw it against the wall and broke down crying.

„Fuck.. Fuck... Fuck...!" I screamed.

There were two guys in my fucking Life. One who loves me but is cheating on me and the other one who wants me but isn't in Love with me. I felt horrible, I could hardly breathe.

I went to bed and cried til I fell asleep.

The next morning I woke up and saw Jimin sitting on the edge of the bed next to me. He was looking at me, not saying a single word. I rubbed my eyes trying to wake up.

„What happend to our Wall?"he asked me.

„What do you mean? I said in a sleepy voice.

„There's a huge stain ."

„Green Tea!" I answered and turned away from him.

„Are you okay Joy?" he touched me and I felt miserable again. I didn't answer. Instead I cried silently into my pillow. For the first time, after four years of our relationship, I questioned our Love for each other.

„Baby what's wrong with you? Why are you crying? What happened?" I could hear his worries.
He lay down next to me. Hugged me from behind and kissed my cheek.

„Tell me what's wrong?" his voice sounded calming, yet it drove me crazy. I slipped out of his embrace.

„Not now Jimin!" I got up and went into the bathroom and locked the door behind me. When I stood in front of the mirror I saw the small injury Tae had left on my lower Lip with his theeth.

„Shit!" i pulled my Pajama over my head and saw his bite marks everywhere over my chest.

„That fucking Idiot!" my guilt turned to anger and hate.