Gallimaufry

Life Navigated.

The grass was still green and birds still sang, though at least it had started raining in a dull drizzle as Clara walked through the park. Leaves were shifting from their vibrant greens to an assortment of golds, yellows, and reds along with the associated sweet smell of autumn. Though it was a little morbid to enjoy the smell of autumn in Clara's opinion, as it really was the smell of the world dying.

Plants dying, leaves dying.

Once vibrant life fading, giving a final splash of brilliance before withering and falling to the ground to decay under the unforgiving cold to come. Right now, with the hazy half light of a rainy day and the dampness of the drizzling rain running down her spine, the world was tinged with that promise of death.

Clara was going to die.

And not in that existential realism of all things must die, and that we start dying the moment that we start living. Unlike the world, there would be no spring for Clara. The core structure of her being wasn't going to merely go dormant until things got better and she woke up with the return of warmth.

Her body was withering and dying at an accelerated rate that the doctors had labeled as fatal. Medical terms had been thrown around, bouncing off the bubble of numbness that had hit her the moment she had seen the confused and resigned expressions from the doctors who were overworked and underpaid.

She was lucky that she lived in a part of the world where she had access to medical care that was universal, though overworked systems had allowed her to be sent home with diagnosis's of minor maladies long enough that whatever was killing her got the foothold it needed to win. Clara would eventually have to call the hospital and ask for another explanation on things, and she supposed that she would get angry at the injustice of it all and then sad when she had to call the people in her life that would be upset about what her absence would mean for them.

But right now, her mind felt as hazy as the grey sky, and her grief was as tame as the constant mist of water that dampened but did not soak and carry away the build up of filth and dying life with it.

Clara wandered the park until she found herself walking through a quiet neighbourhood. The street was silent, only she wandered along, as if everyone else was hiding from the damp grief and death that was a rainy autumn day.

A bell rung, a musical chime of brightness that brought with it a temporary smell of baking cookies and brewing coffee, drawing Clara out of her daze to look over at the coffee shop that sat glowing with warmth. Inside, lights glowed and people lounged on overstuffed couches or sat working away on their computers. A girl worked behind the counter, grinning and appearing to talk to someone that Clara could not see.

The coffee shop employee was beautiful. Dark skin that glowed from within, short hair that was dyed the same colour red as the woman's apron and lipstick, brown eyes that appeared to laugh as readily as the woman's expression.

The bell rang again, and it was only when the woman behind the counter turned those beautiful eyes toward her that Clara realized she had walked through the door, into the warmth. And for the moment, that exuberance and life was for her, a smile that lit up Clara's soul and caused her cheeks to flush.

The shop was warm, it glowed with life and welcome and Clara felt her body relaxing just as surely as she felt the numbness begin to melt. She took a couple steps toward the counter and pulled the hood off of her head, jerking her eyes away from the other woman's face to read the name written out on the name tag.

Joy.

Clara jerked her eyes up and looked pointedly at the board, forcing out a breath as she realized she now had to order something, at least to give the appearance of sanity.