Rebel

Chapter Twenty Three

I walked down the deserted hall, the sound of my footsteps echoing through the halls just like the thoughts in my head. Repeating. I said yes, meaning I had to get rid of Alexsandra, my only friend. I had to tell her she had failed and that she had to go to her death. If I didn't, who knows what Cathleen would do to me.

Then way too soon, I was standing in the art room.

"Sage!" Alexsandra said, looking up from her painting, a smudge of paint still on her cheek, "You're back! What did Dr. Morsie want?"

I cleared my throat, my heart racing, "Oh," I said, my lungs struggling to keep in air, "She uh, just wanted to... to give me a little bit of er, background information and..." My throat was burning and I couldn't look Alexsandra in the eye. "She er.... Wanted to congratulate me on doing good in my training."

Alexsandra looked relieved, "Good! I knew you were doing good on your training! Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

There's a lot of things I'm not telling you. I thought glumly, "Oh, I just.... Didn't think it was relevant."

Alexsandra punched me on the arm, "Of course it's relevant, Silly. Your success is always relevant."

I cringed at her kindness. She was complimenting me on my successes whereas I agreed to sentence her to death. I'm such an awful friend. I thought.

"Anyway," Alex said, wiping off her hands and setting down her paintbrush, "Wanna see what the boys are doing?"

"Uh, sure why not?" I said, grateful for a distraction of any kind, "Let's go."

"Great." Alexsandra said. She grinned at me as she walked past, heading for the doorway.

I paused, not moving. Guilt was building in my gut, threatening to strangle me. "Er, Alex?" I said, trying to keep my voice steady. My mind was flooded with visions of Alexsandra's disbelief when I told her she had to go. The tears that would trail down her face and the shame in her eyes.

"Yeah?" She asked, turning around and standing in the doorway.

"I... uh..." The same word echoed around my skull in a never ending loop. Traitor. I faked a grin, gesturing to the canvas she was working moments before, "I really like your painting."

Alexsandra grinned, "Thanks."

* * *

"I can't do it. I just can't do it." The sound of my head repeatedly hitting the wall echoed through the room. It was almost pitch black, the only light being the few rays of the setting sun that could make it through the shut blinds. I would normally think it a beautiful time, but my thoughts and the constant guilt were distracting me.

"I've failed." I moaned, still banging my head against the wall. I could feel Ugine nudging my hand, trying to give me comfort, but I ignored it. I had gone a whole day with this order, and still haven't mentioned anything to Alexsandra. By the end of the day I was going insane with the stupid emotions going through my head. "She made me choose between my freedom and my best friend and I failed." I finally stopped banging my head and looked at Ugine, though my vision was still spinning. "I'm gonna have to tell her that I've failed, and then she's gonna kick us out."

Ugine blinked up at me, the light reflecting off his pupils. I sighed and slumped down on my bed, scratching my dog behind the ears. "I thought this would finally be my permanent home. But I guess I was wrong. I'll never have a permanent home." I rubbed my eyes, feeling tears building up behind them. It was my own fault anyway. I deserved to be like this, living alone and friendless.

"Well," I said, standing up, "I guess I better go tell Cathleen that I failed. You better get packing. We'll be outta here by morning." I grinned weakly to my dog then walked out of the room, leaving any chance of happiness with it.

I walked down the halls, grateful that no one was around. I had to hurry if I wanted to get to Cathleen before dark, but to be honest, I didn't want to. I knew it was for the best though, the sooner I'm gone the better.

Then all too soon, I was standing in front of Cathleen's office.

I forced myself to keep breathing, reaching for the door but then pulling back several times. After about three attempts I managed to convince myself that it was for the best. But right before my knuckles hit the door I heard voices.

"Hi.... Cathleen Morsie.... Of Braneve...."

I could only pick up a few words, so I pressed my ear against the door. I knew I shouldn't be eavesdropping, but curiosity got the best of me.

"Yes, I need to speak to Commander Kasmin please." Pause, "Ah, Commander. I just called to check on the status of New Japan." Another pause, "Great, in that case, I just thought of a new area. I'd like your troops and Calvin to move to the Koreas, but make sure that they don't get the news out." A big pause, "Yes, I am aware that there has been some rebellion in Taiwan. Just get to South Korea! I'll send Jasmine over there if I have to." Biggest pause yet, "Well then tell Prime Minister Amida that he better bow down to me or I will bring out Skyla! Show him the video if you have to." Pause, "Yes, I'll take care of it when I come this weekend." Pause, "Alright, thank you. Goodbye Commander."