11 ❀ A Poetic Declaration

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Benedict lay in his bed, unable to sleep with all of the thoughts and emotions swirling in his head

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Benedict lay in his bed, unable to sleep with all of the thoughts and emotions swirling in his head. Had he really been that blind to her affections? He wished he had seen it sooner, so he could've prevented hurting his friend.

But what would he have done if he knew?

He sighed and turned to the other side of the bed, hoping the view of the moonlight from his window would calm his active mind. But all he could think of was her hair, her eyes, her tears under this very moon hours ago.

It hit him all at once.

Why had he been so against Anthony courting her? Why had he blown up after he saw her dance with Colin? Why did he feel the need to steal her away from Lord Lumley?

Colin knew. His mother knew. Even Whistledown knew.

Benedict was struggling to grasp his feelings, because had never felt this way before. He had been with many girls that excited him before, but they could easily leave his mind if he so willed it. But Isabel was like an itch that you just can't shake, growing the more you think about it. Even when she was far from sight, she still occupied every corner of his mind.

With most girls, he was interested in having fun away from the burdens of his family and the society he was born into, but somehow, this lady of the ton was more invigorating than any of them. He didn't need to escape the physical confines of society when he found solace in her.

Was this love?

Benedict shot up in bed, the sound of his heartbeat loud in his ears. He tried to slow his breathing to calm down, but it did nothing to still his heart. With all of this feeling inside him, the only way to quell it was to let it out.

Benedict grabbed his coat and ran down the stairs. Thankfully, none of his siblings woke. He reached the front door and threw it open, only to see that it was raining.

He was too motivated to let the rain delay him. He left the house, hoping the rain would not get any worse as he walked through the city.

He appreciated the different sensation that the cool rain against his skin afforded him. It helped to take his mind off the quickness and warmth of his heart, though he couldn't help but get lost in his thoughts again.

With his hair dripping wet and the water soaking through his coat to his shirt, he knocked on a door.

Moments passed and no one answered. Maybe they were all fast asleep. Or maybe they did not want to open the door for him. He hoped the latter was not true.

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