heaven only knows

chapter four

with a weary look in his eyes, wilbur looked down at his fingers which, were holding a cigarette. 

and he let his gaze trail to quackity who, next to him was taking quick puffs at his own cigarette.

earlier that day, the younger had proposed the idea of getting drunk together but, they quickly discarded of that idea as it was simply too risky.

it didn't take too long or they'd already decided on sharing a pack of cigarettes whilst watching the night's sky.

and that's what they did, both sat on wilbur's doorstep.

'you know, i always sit here. when i need to escape reality for a bit, this is my spot. i thought it would feel weird, having another person here in my safe space, but it feels familiar, safe even,' the brunette softly spoke.

'i'm glad, soot. truly, i'm glad you find comfort in, well, me. but there's something i've been meaning to ask. your father, has he always been like this? how was growing up with phil,' asked the other, with a seemingly genuine interest.

'i've no idea what your idea of him is this very moment. but i can tell you he was no fun to be around. he seems to hate kids, really. i'd get hurt, he would tell me i deserved it, was the kind of stop crying or i'll give you a reason to cry, parent. he would often fight me to the point of near death and call it training. he never gave me or tommy attention either and would give us, unwanted attention when we pointed out how techno clearly was his favourite.'

it stayed silent as the black-haired man took his sweet time taking the cigarette out of his mouth: 'that's fucked up. i'm so sorry about that, soot. do you, still think of that a lot?'

'i used to, but it's gotten better, honestly. i don't, lose sleep over it anymore. i've learned to accept that the one person that is supposed to have my back, isn't a good person. but me and toms, we still cry over it together sometimes. it's easier than, pretending to be okay. i would hold him in my arms and we'd recall the stuff he did to us,' spoke the brit carefully.

'i wouldn't, expect the two of you to be so close, since tommy kind of has this whole thing going on where, he hates your guts,' quackity chuckled.

'yeah, i guess trauma is one of the few things we can bond over,' the older laughed.

the shorter one seemed to struggle to get out what he wanted to, because he was laughing at his own joke like his life depended on it: 'seems like all enemies secretly love each other, hm? watch out, next thing you know dream confesses his feelings for you, soot.'

the other looked at quackity with a shocked expression, before having playfully pushed him backwards, causing the other to hit the door a little harder than expected.

they shared a look of worry, but eventually laughed it off.

'not dream, i would rather die,' the brunette dramatically stated, letting his body fall onto the other as they both laughed away.

'what the fuck, soot. don't launch yourself at me, you freak,' quackity wheezed.

'what? i'm not! i was laughing too hard and my body couldn't take it. not my fault you want me to fling my body against yours,' wilbur rolled his eyes.

'i do not!'

a soft smile: 'prove it, then.'

'soot, it's literally impossible.'

mocking quackity's tone: 'it's so impossible to stop thinking about you, oh, soot. i want you so desperately, soot.'

as the brunette went on making out with himself, the other now rolled his eyes: 'you're so weird!'

in the middle of another kiss with himself, the other yelled out: 'but you know you love it!'

another roll of the eyes: 'shut up, you're so stupidly cute, soot.'

'what?'

'what?'

the two shared a look and again it was that they got lost in a fit of laughter.

'wait so, how was your family, growing up,' the brit finally broke the winded-down laughter.

'they weren't really around that much. always busy with work. when i found that my high achievements didn't work i started doing stupid shit to get their attention, but really all i did was disappoint them. i could never be good enough for them,' the male quickly answered.

the other looked down at his hands with a soft smile: 'tell me about all the stupid shit you did.'

'heh, i'd get in trouble with my teachers all the time. really, it was so bad that i had to move schools. three times. i'd sell candy on the school's grounds and get in trouble for it and, eventually, i'd also sell other types of candy. and i'd make sure to get hurt too, once in a while. started off with simple things, like with me making myself trip over my skateboard, making myself fall down my bike, stuff like that. but eventually, i'd get into fights, crash my car into things and, well again, stuff like that. but that was only the stupid stuff i did for attention, don't get me started on the shit i'm still hiding from sam,' the younger laughed.

'i get that, really. while you were more of a, badass troublemaker, i was the chaotic and troubled kid growing up. and i like that combination, a lot. honestly, we would've made such a good duo. i can already see it in front of me: young quackity with a black eye and a bloody nose because he kicked some ass, and a little me with a plaster on his knee because he fell out of a tree,' spoke wilbur softly.

'forgive me if i'm wrong, but it's not the first time you thought about this, is it, soot?'

'busted,' the brunette chuckled, 'i've always wished we grew up together, were childhood friends. really, the way my dad spoke about you, it didn't scare me off, it made me want to be your friend.'

'but, why,' asked quackity.

'i don't know. i just, wanted a friend, and you seemed so cool. your family had a history with ours but i always thought that was bullshit. there was a time where i hated my father for pushing that old shit onto me, forcing me to hate you. but i never did, i knew that. i wanted to be friends with you and, build a treehouse together. watch music together. do dumb shit, really. get drunk, get in trouble. run away, build boats, enjoy my life. stuff like that. i wanted a childhood. one with you, quackity,' the brit spoke.

'what's stopping us from having the best time of our lives now? what's stopping us from reliving our childhood, together? we can do all the stuff you mentioned, soot! i'd love nothing more, honestly. i was lonely growing up, and i really want to start over with you. have a better childhood, in the moment. what's the start of your bucket list, soot?'

'i've been, wanting to go stargazing with you since we were 10. i know a cool spot in the woods, pretty close to my place and next to a pond. we could go there to stargaze, the trees aren't that big and you can still see the stars. and, you could always crash at my place if you happen to get too tired.'

quackity pushed the butt of his cigarette out between his legs, on the doorstep before he, with one quick movement, went to stand in front of wilbur: 'i'll be here tomorrow.'

a smile formed on the other's face as he mumbled something about how, he couldn't wait.

'me neither. say, you wouldn't mind handing me your cigarette, would you? i really want one last puff, soot.'

'no, i know something better.'

and, before quackity could say anything else, he felt wilbur's lips on his, and smoke being blown into his mouth.

the brunette grinned at the other man, having decided to press his lips on the other pair in front of him again.

shit, this was, it was happening.

again.

'that, was really hot,' the black-haired man softly smiled.

'i know. meet me tomorrow, quackity.'

'will do,' the other laughed, still taken aback by what happened mere moments earlier.

fuck, love felt good.