Harry's POV:
Here's the thing they never tell you about fame :
Fame is ruthless. It does not insist in well doing. It shows no pity or compassion for any soul that crosses the path. It's a popularity contest in which good looks are more appealing then acutal talent and hard work.
Fame means millions of people have their own wrong impressions of who you are and what you believe in.
I never liked the word 'famous'. It's nothing but an empty name. A face that you hide behind to be likeable.
Perhaps we do it for money. Fame would allow me large debuts, but everything has to be paid back in the end. I personally don't think it's worth destroying every little good thing about yourself and who you truly are, for money.
I know that power, fame, money and popularity do not bring happiness. If there's one thing history teaches us something, it teaches us exactly that. We all know it. Everyone agrees to it. What is strange is that, despite the fact the society knows this, it does not want to be known and it chooses almost always to behave as if it wasn't true. It does not suit the world to hear that people who are living the high life, a privileged life, are as miserable as everybody else, giving the fact that we all agreed that money and wealth does not bring happiness.
Instead, the rest of the world would prefer to enjoy the false idea (against what is known to be completely true), that success and fame actually isulate and protect against misery.
The truth about fame is that you ran towards it and try to accomplish every goal because it's everything you ever wanted. And then you get there, and the end of the path hidden away from people's eyes, and it's shocking how fast you become enveloped in this world that is completely restricting.
As the rest of the world, i wanted to be famous and wealthy. I dreamed of having money that I would spend as if we were in a video game. Nowadays, I would rather turn back in time so I could change the moment in which my life changed.
Those are the type of thoughts that go through my mind at 1:48 am when I'm laying on the soft grass, staring at the sky.
Would it make a difference if I wasn't here?
Now, all that i could do was lay on the soft grass, looking at the sky as if searching the answers to all the life's questions.
I thought about it - I'm no longer afraid of death.
The great peaceful sleep that i wish to embrace with all my heart. Dying must be peaceful. To lay underneath the soft earth as the breeze tousles above your resting eyes and your soul can float peacefully amongst the wildflowers. I crave it - a sence of peace from the chaos raining war inside my mind.
I want to be at peace. A rest from the tempest tossing me aimlessly about the sea of humanity. A rest from the doubt and fear. For the sun to find my face, the light to find my heart, the song to find my story and the smile to find my face.
Life is finite, and my stirms have raged too long for even winter must surrender spring, and be at peace. I'm 19 now - no longer a kid. Everything has changed.
But i remain here, because no matter how much i just wants it to end - i can't. I'll miss the blue eyed boy to much.
I am in the backyard, staring at the night sky and questioning my entire life.
Suddenly, a presence lies beside me.
I turn my head, and see the boy all my dreams are about.
"You know, the sky is pretty today." louis tells me
"The sky is always preyy."i respond
After a moment of silence, he says:
"Harry I'm sorry."
"What for?" I ask, looking away from his face.
"For pushing you away. I thought back then that if there's a distance between us, things would have been easier."he says
"Easier for who? Surely for me they weren't."
"I'm sorry." Louis tells me.
"It's ok."i said, truning back to look at him.
"No harry it's not ok. I destroyed our friendship just because the manegment didn't like it. We were to clingy and touchy for them. But the truth - i enjoyed evry little moment that we spent togheter. And you werent just a friend, you were someone special." He says, looking in my eyes,"You still are." He continues.
"Really?" I ask, hoping for a good answer.
"Yes. And you wanna know the truh?"
"Yes." I respond.
"I really, like really really like you, harry styles."
And that's the moment i stopped breathing.
I saw him wanting nervously for an answer.
"Do you also want to know something?" I ask.
"Yes ."
"I really, really like you too."
He smiles, bitting his lip.
"You know, i have absolutely no idea why i came here to talk..."
"I'm glad you did."i say.
"Me too"
Our fingers slowly touch, getting closer and closer.
"You are so beautiful..." He says, breaking the silince.
I blush so hard that I'm afraind I'll get 3 degree burns.
"This is such a cliché."i say.
"And why is that?"
"I don't know. I randomly lay on the backyard grass at 2 in the morning, and suddenly you came and confess your love tuards me."
"Indeed. It sounds like a movie script." He says smiling.
God, he's perfect.
"I missed this." I say.
"Me too. Laying next to you, looking at the dark sky, being so close to one another."
At the moment, we're staring into eachothers eyes, our noses almost touching.
"It's time to go to bed curly. Tomorrow we have a big day." He says, getting of the grass and then helping me.
Curly. I forgot how much i missed this word.
We go back inside , deciding to go sleeping.
I'm laying in bed, trying to sleep but failing.
I get up and walk tuards louis' room.
"Lou?" I whisper, slowly opening his bedroom dor.
"Yeah?" He asks sleepily.
Waking to his bed, i say:
" Can't sleep"
"Come here" louis says, moving a littlr to make space for me.
"Up for a cuddle?" He asks, after im already under the blanket.
"Always." I respond.
Warm and soft arms hug me, and i fall into a peaceful sleep.
YOU ARE READING
Made Of Love
Fanfiction'Love. It was silly how a four letter word such as that one held the power to create such chaos. It was simply one small word-yet it could change one's life forever as if it were the magnificent Zeus or a creator. They were just victims who fell to...
