Unmasked

Social Week

170 days of school. Out of those 170 days, I only speak for five of them. For a whole school week we have to do partner projects. Every single time I get partnered with the same person. Blake Moore. Captain of the football team. You know how it is. Dates the most prettiest and popular girl in school. She has her group of friends that hates the same people she does. She also happens to be the Cheer captain and they live happily ever after... Blake only enjoys being with me because I get him a "A+" on every project. He probably thinks i'm a freak. If I saw myself I would think the same

When it's our turn to present he tells me everything to say and explains it like i'm a toddler that runs around like a maniac everywhere I go. "And that ladies and gentleman's is how our systems work throughout our life." Yes Blake. We know. And after that long school week, no one hears from me again. Well not until next years project. The rest of the school year we have options to do our work with someone or by ourself. Obviously I choose myself. Who would I work with in the first place? Everyone here is known, except for me. The school says that kids do need to be social once a school year, so that's why we do group projects ONCE a year. I'm not complaining tho. Once a year is plenty of time to speak with Blake.

The only extremely terrible thing in this school is the bullying, which none of the Guidance Counselors care about. All through my years here I've been hit, Body-shamed, and made fun of. The funny part is that, I don't know the students who do it. It's like they all know every little detail of my life but I know nothing about them. It's kinda creepy. Nothing you do in this school will stop people from being the way they are. It's something you just have to live with until you graduate.

I cope in different ways from people. "Unhealthy ways" as my therapist says. It's this damn school. Everyone here. It just ruins me. It's like i'm in a bubble and everyone around me has "push pins" trying to pop my bubble. I wish they would pick on someone they know. And it's not like I can tell anyone. The Guidance Counselors say they will talk to the person about it and never do. My parents are divorced and they only worry about money. My Best friend is dead. Everything was perfect when she was alive. We went to party's, went out together, went shopping even tho we HATED it, talked about boys, and our parents. Nothing around us felt wrong. After she was gone everyone acted like it was my fault or something. My best-friend was beautiful. She wasn't very popular, just known. She had this brown curly hair and vintage style everyone loved. I always tried to find my style but I never did. Sweatshirt and Sweatpants is all it's ever been. But I guess you could say my life wasn't completely shit.

Blake only waves at me in the hallway like once a month and I guess that's his "Thanks for getting me the good grade." He is actually very stupid when it comes to school. In order to stay on a sports team you have to have all "A's" and "B's" or you sit out in all games or get kicked off. If no one helped Blake he would have to sit out in all games. They win every game they play and the crowds still cheer like it's the first game they've won in over 20 years. I don't understand football so I never show to any of the games anymore. You never know where to sit. There is the Losers side, The parents side, and popular side. I used to just sit in the grass about 4 feet from the bleachers. At 9:30 tho I have to leave. It's not a curfew thing, it's just a girl thing. At 9:30 all the girls start taking pictures beside the field and if you aren't taking the pictures or in them it's awkward to just sit around. "Okay Sam make sure you get the right angle. I want it to look good for Drake." Says one of the cheerleaders. There's also some people who go over there to smoke or trade drugs. All the police are in the bleachers or at the concession stand getting something to eat or hitting on every mom they see. 

When I get home I take a shower, finish my homework, eat leftovers, and go cover my mother up. Sleeping has always been an escape for me, I think my mother could agree as well. I repeat everything the next day, just with more challenges.

I think I like basketball season more.