4th of july gone haywire

no.

You and your friend were existing.

"you know wouldn't it be funny if some guy was out there who's make was an anagram of serial murderer" your friend asked

"why" you said

"no reason just curious" friend said

"well if there was someone like that, they would be a disgusting rat who deserves to simmer in an active volcano" u said

Little did you kno saying that was like scheduling an appointment with the grim reaper.

"anyways let's go to the 4th of july party" friend says

"Ok" you went to the party with your friend.

You were actually being followed the whole way there. Thanks a lot, that little roast of yours is eventually gonna lead to the implosion of the space time continuum or something.

You luckily got past the crappy alley reception center with your friend.

Shortly after, your follower had to pass reception too.

"hello sir how may I help you" receptionist said.

"let me into the party or I will rearrange your atomic structure" your follower said

"Ok go" reception said

For some reason the receptionist didn't question why some guy who is tHE HEIGHT OF A VERTICAL PICKUP TRUCK AND ISN'T EVEN HUMAN was threatening his way into the party.

"Brb I'm gonna go buy a stack or two of brazilian hopscotch tutorials from albuquerque new mexico with these moldy mandarins" your friend said and left you behind.

You heard footsteps behind you. You had the bright idea to just stand there and imagine coding a series of league of legends ripoffs via banana popsicle.

Since you are a Totally Super Legit Premium Complete Safe Smart Nerdy Cantaloupe Actual Guaranteed Completely True and Genuine Absoloute Big Brain Super Genius™ you also ignored the fact that the footsteps had stopped and you felt like you were being stared at.

you were there for so long while being watched by the abomination behind you without realizing that I almost thought your dad would come back with the milk by the time you noticed.

It was midnight and the fireworks were going off. YOUR FRIEND IS STILL SHOPPING FOR THOSE HOPSCOTCH TUTORIALS. YOU NEED NEW FRIENDS.

however like the Totally Super Legit Premium Complete Safe Smart Nerdy Cantaloupe Actual Guaranteed Completely True and Genuine Absoloute Big Brain Super Genius™ you may or may not be, you thought the thing behind you was your friend. Yes, you were able to sense a presence behind you. That is probably the smartest thing you'll ever do in this story.

"The fireworks are beautiful, aren't they?" You said and turned around to face who you thought was your friend, who probably just went milk shopping with your dad at this point.

Instead you saw some dude who looked part goat and was tall.

"oh sorry I thought you were somebody else" you said.

"What are you even doing with your life" goat man said.

"Your mom. Also nice goat cosplay btw where'd you get it" u said

"Bruh do you seriously think I'm cosplaying right now? Also I came from the underworld" goat boi explained.

"oh nice" u said

"I am literally the god of hyperdeath. Why aren't you afraid of me." your apparent new friend said.

"Ohh aren't you that guy from minecraft?" You asked.

"are you a literal idiot" your new friend asked

"Hey y/n I'm back with your brazilian hopscotch tutorials from albuquerque new mexico" your old friend said. Way to go Stacey, looks like you finally picked up the slack and returned to your best friend who you left stranded for 12 hours and is now in grave danger.

"Oh hi there. Come say hi to my new friend" you said.

"OH MY GOD IS THAT ASRIEL DREEMUR FROM UNDERTALE?????!???!!????!?????" Your old friend shouted.

"FINALLY SOMEONE RECOGNIZES ME." ur new friend said.

"omg hi im such a big fan can I get a picture with you 🤩" stacey said.

"are you kidding me right now" asriel said.

At this point, asriel might just be more competent of a friend than stacey. That's a lot considering the fact that he would probably kill you.

stacey tried to run over to you guys but then she ceased to exist as if her molecular structure had gone to see your dad at the milk store.

"alright that's better. now can you try to guess why I'm here" asriel said

"uh to see the fireworks? or to buy brazilian hopscotch tutorials from albuquerque new mexico?" U ask

"No it's because you called me a rat and said I should simmer in an active volcano" ur now apparently only 'friend'(??) said.

"no I said that about people who's names are anagrams of serial murderer" you said

"my name is asriel dreemur. think for a moment." Ur friend said.

"no" you said

"Bruh where is your brain. Anyways I am here for vengeance" asriel said.

Then he picked you up like a basketball and yeeted you into oblivion.

Then the space time continuum imploded. Because of asriel of course.

the end

also f in the chat for your dad who was genuinely at the milk store, trying to decide what milk to buy all these years. still doesn't make you any less fatherless LOL