Amber & Honey ~ [DR3]

30. Silverstone

Happy Sprint Day!

I've had to split this chapter in 2 cause it was so so long ok so enjoy!!

"I feel really bad. I'm sorry Ambs." Lando begins a worried smile on his lips, I try my best to return the expression but find myself Laying with a hand over my head. Another wave of nausea washing over me. If I take a deep breath and focus on the phone screen infront of my face I won't feel as dizzy and want to throw up.

"It's not your fault!" I try and sound unbothered in my voice, but I just sound all croaky and pathetic. "I've been run down for weeks, it was bound to happen at some point." Michael saw it before any of us with the vitamins he was always throwing my way. It's just now that I've stopped travelling and let my body relax that illness has hit me.

I was meant to be heading to the hotel close to Silverstone this morning with my whole family. Mum, Dad, Flo, Oliver, Savannah, Mila had stuff packed up into cars, ready to head up closer to the track for the weekend. Even my grandparents were making the trip. Lando was already there, he'd been flown there in a helicopter on Thursday morning with Daniel receiving real 5 star treatment.

It all only made me feel like I'm missing out more.

Heading to Silverstone is something we've done as a family every year since I was fifteen (and even the odd year or two before that). Everyone has always headed up to Silverstone for this weekend. Whether it was for the day, camping out or staying the whole time at a local B&B. Hell, even Lilly is going with Ollie today, and my jealousy of her is just unparalleled.

A home race is like nothing else I can describe. The atmosphere the excited buzz in the air as people chant and sing in the stands...it's even better now it's Lando's actual home race too.

I'm not there, and I'm not going. Sadly.

I couldn't stop throwing up for more than 45 minutes this morning for the drive up there. Neither Dad or Oliver would allow me in their cars, not wanting to take the risk that I'd throw up on them or the upholstery. Honestly, I think that the drive would've made me feel so much worse too, so I couldn't really argue with them - no matter how badly I wanted to.

So instead of being with Lando talking to him on the way to the track and trying to keep his head level (like I usually do), he's currently FaceTiming me from his driver room. He's wearing his race suit and looking a little nervous. He's constantly interrupted by engineers and press people but I don't entirely mind, I'm hardly full of conversation myself. It gives me a good few seconds to resettle myself between conversations.

The best I can describe it is feeling green.

It started yesterday with a fever in the morning, which in the afternoon turned into a migraine, which by 5pm was a serious vomiting bug. It's the worst I've ever felt in my whole entire life - I'm not even being dramatic saying that either. Every inch of my body is aching, there's a fog of confusion hanging over my head and a cloudiness in my eyes. The deep ache in my muscles means that it's taking the remainder of my energy to just hold my phone up in my hands to be able to speak with Lando.

I adjust the ice pack which is resting on my stomach in an attempt to soothe it as Lando sits down on a chair the other end of the phone. "I'm sorry about Baku...and Canada" Lando apologises for the tenth time. It's obvious he feels bad for giving me the cold shoulder for the trip(s). I only shrug off his words, I don't know what else there is to say. It's done now, he's my brother, we were always going to make up. It was never that serious, he just had to get it out of his system.

"It's done." I dismiss waving my hand around lazily as if to dismiss his concerns and apologies. They're not necessary.

"Yeah, but now this is the third race we can't enjoy together." Lando's voice sounds a little sad and guilt eats at me. Maybe I should've made a little more effort to make up with him in Montreal,  but honestly, I was having so much fun with Daniel it just wasn't on my mind.