Amber & Honey ~ [DR3]

51. All Good

Monza is where everything started really.

So it only makes sense that returning to the track feels like stepping back in time. It's almost as if I'm transported back to that weekend almost exactly a year ago, running around the paddock after Lando in my Mclaren cap with the '4' on. The anxiety of the weekend, first when it was clear both of the boys were doing well in qualifying and then in the race seeming to return to my body. The race then was unlike anything I've ever been part of. My stomach was clenched the whole time, my fingers trembling a little as my eyes were fixed entirely on Lando and his car, counting down the laps until the race was over and the celebrations begun.

Then the celebrations were...well, I met Daniel at the celebrations. That's enough for me. I think it would say enough to anyone else too.

"What are you thinking about Miss Norris?" An arm loops around my shoulder with the question and I'm a little startled until I turn my head to see Charles close to me. He's smiling at me warmly, holding me closer than he should around the paddock when cameras are around, his hazel eyes mischievous (as they always seem to be).

"How fantastic you look in yellow." I grin in return to the question, flicking at the canary yellow cap on his head, making it move back on his head. Charles catches it and settles it firmly back on him with ease. His team shirt is a matching yellow and he just shakes my head at the comment. He's made his thoughts on the temporary uniform quite clear to me over the last few days.

"It's awful, no?" He asks, unwinding his arm from my shoulders to send a small wave to someone a little way away from us. Simultaneously a fan approaches to ask for an autograph which he politely agrees to, signing the red Ferrari cap. I almost catch Charles staring longingly at the colour, wishing he were wearing that instead of his current sun-like uniform. Wordlessly he smiles softly for a selfie with the young before seamlessly slipping back into conversation with me. "The black fireproofs are great though."

"The girls will love them I'm sure." I reply, the entertainment clear in my voice.

"Hopefully one girl in particular." He tries me with an attempted half wink. Charles remains fixed on Lilly.

"Oh Charlie..." I tease with the words he just smiles to himself with the nickname. It's a disapproving smile that doesn't quite meet his usually sparkly eyes. He hates that Daniel uses the nickname it so much - he hates even more that I've also latched onto the nickname.

Charles wordlessly leads the way into the Ferrari motorhome, it's become a routine whenever we find each other during the madness of a race weekend. Charles gets hints (or shares hints) all to do with Lilly, I get gorgeous Italian sourced coffee. There's nothing to lose really. He also gets to vent about his team to someone who won't roll their eyes and mutter under their breath in Italian, something which I know he appreciates given his recent frustrations. They're all understandable.

"Are you excited?" I ask as he hands me the coffee, iced today. Charles hesitates for a moment at the question, his eyes darting at those around, as if to assess who is close, who could understand or overhear his words.

"Yeah, of course." Charles says as if it's obvious, a small shrug coming from his shoulders. His hesitation and lack of smile paired with the answer makes me doubt him a little. "Just a bit worried." He admits, the words almost a whisper as he leans over to me. I can only nod knowingly. I don't know, but I know Daniel and Lando also have their anxieties about this weekend. Pressure can play insane games with the mind. "It's a lot of pressure." I can't even imagine the pressure Charles has on his shoulders, Carlos too.

Ferrari comfortably have the fastest car on the track this year, and yet they are still struggling to match Max and Red Bull each week because of...well, various reasons. I choose not to engage much and embarrass myself by proposing reasons to Charles how the team could improve. I can hardly say a word either, McLaren is the team which I have most experience with and they are hardly strategy masterminds themselves. At least not in the way Red Bull and Mercedes seem to be.