My everyday life

The pain of being me

Words fall short of the bondage i set upon my heart, mind, my life. Words fall short, so do my tears that wash a smile upon my face and hides the pain from my depression.

My eyes red from an abortive mind-set of thinking one could love such a tattered soul. I sit alone contemplating “the end”, yet “the end” came when depression came.

Listening to funeral songs hoping one day to listen to another, yet the chains around my neck suffocate me further.

Sleeping the pain away as my temporary escape yet none see, none hear the cries through my actions, none see the tears i shed behind closed doors.

In reality no one cares, none feel pain for others yet i feel pain for all. Alone with these suicidal voices, thoughts that rule the underworld which is my life yet none see.

In many eyes i am but a ghost until i am needed, a villain till my resources are wanted. I get tossed aside until someone needs a shoulder to cry on.

Last on your mind yet first at your door, lost amongst the dirt yet seen me as a angel when the need arises. Toxic , you shower me with this word through your actions, in your speech.

Yet loving and kindness is what is required of me. When i give up you say not too yet you pulled the plug on my heart...