DOWNWARD SPIRAL- C.F

04

After dinner, I made sure the mothers were away from the pool before grabbing an Altoids box from my room.

I went downstairs and sat on a lounge chair near the pool. I opened the box and pulled out a joint that I had rolled yesterday.

As I turned it on with my hot pink lighter, I heard the sliding door open. I quickly moved the joint behind my back to see who it was.

Conrad. He walked out took one look at me and continued to the pool to dip his feet in.

I thought in my head if I should wait until he left, go down to the beach, or just do it, here, with him a few feet away. After all the thoughts that raced through my head, I just decided to say 'fuck it.'

I pulled out the joint in front of me and took a long hit. Inhaling the smoke, I could feel my body start to relax.

Conrad then turned to me giving me a weird face," since when did you start smoking."

"When did you start smoking," I reappeared his question pointing to the joint that was above his ear.

"I asked first," Conrad said.

" When my anxiety got so bad that I started having panic attacks, you?," I said calmly, saying it like it was no big deal. And that's because it wasn't.

Last year everything in my life started adding up slowly crushing me. I had mid-terms and the volleyball championship. Everything just started to feel like too much so when I had my first panic attack at a teammate's house. She told me to take a hit off of her joint. That one hit helped calm my nerves so much, that I started to smoke whenever I got anxious, nervous, or I just wanted to relax.

" Um, after I quit football."

" Makes sense, you used to say that 'smoking is dumb and that real athletes don't put shit in their bodies'."

"Yeah, well not an athlete anymore."

" That it messes with white matter," I said laughing at all the things he used to say about it.

" Do you memorize every single thing that I've ever said," Conrad says.

I finished off my joint and then told Conrad," Get over yourself."

I walked back inside and up the stairs passing Belly who was going out for her usual night swim. I got to my room and chose an outfit. I finally decided on shorts, a black bikini top, and a white button-up. I applied a little bit of makeup, just some concealer, mascara, and blush. Finally, I brushed my hair and teeth and then ran downstairs.

 I ran into Jeremiah and Steven. We all walked outside to the pool to get Conrad.

"First Bonfire of the Summer!" Jeremiah yelled.

"Come on, man, we're leaving. You ready?" Steven asked Conrad.

" Can I come, too?" Belly asked wanting to be included.

"Uh, no" Steven answered quickly not wanting his little sister to bother him. He was barely fine with me coming but I didn't really give him a choice.

"The moms are getting everything ready for your movie night," I said trying to help Belly feel better.

" See ya," Conrad said to Belly.

"Bye, Bells I'll see you later," I told her waving bye.

" Have fun with the moms," Steven yelled. I elbowed him on his side so he would shut up.

I got in the back seat with Conrad. On the way there Jere kept rambling about how fun it is going to be.

Conrad turned to me," Why are you coming."

"Because I want to, plus I'm meeting someone there," I said annoyed that he seemed to not want me going.

"Meeting who?"

"None of your business," I answered turning to look out the window.

Once we arrived, everyone went their separate ways. Jeremiah with some girls, Steven with Sheila, and Conrad with some girl.

I walked around looking for Loren. After a while of looking, I decided to grab a drink from the keg. I turned around and immediately bumped into someone.

"Oh shit sorry," I said rambling a bunch of apologies.

"It's fine," he said looking up at me smiling," oh hey murderer."

"Hey Lo," I said," wait can I call you Lo."

"Yeah, you can call me whatever you want. Wanna go smoke? You don't have to." He said immediately not wanting to pressure me.

"Yeah, yeah. I want to smoke," I said smiling.

We walked over to a log and sat down as he started to light the joint.

"So, have you smoked before."

"Duh, I'm a teenage aren't I."

"I just didn't think you'd be the type to smoke."

"What'd you think I'd be," I asked wondering what he thought.

" I thought you'd be a book obsessed, straight-A student, and athletic. You hate going to parties and you don't drink or smoke," he said looking at me for an answer.

"You were right about the first part, but I do drink and smoke. Do care if I do?"

"No, you can do whatever the hell you want."

" Great answer," I smiled taking a hit off of his joint. Just as I blew the smoke out I could see Belly walking towards the beach with her jaw to the floor at her sister.

I quickly blew out the smoke waving my hands trying to act like I wasn't smoking. I got up turning to Lo.

"I'll be right back."

"Okay, I'll be here," he said smiling at me.

I ran over to Belly seeing that Steven was doing the same.

"What the hell are you doing here Belly," I asked.

"What am I doing here? I think the bigger question is why are you smoking," she said giving me sass.

" Who gives a shit if I was smoking?" I asked rhetorically," Belly did you ask mom to come?"

She shook her head.

"Great" I mumble.

Just as I was going to tell her something a guy walked up to us," Hey gas station girl," he said bringing her a beer," where are you coming from?"

"Another party," Belly answered.

I just look at her with a questioning face trying to figure out who the hell this guy is.

" Here, take my beer."

"No, thank you, I'm okay," Belly said.

"So, uh....you got a boyfriend back home," he asked looking at Belly up and down.

I tried not to get in the middle but seeing the way he was looking at her I just had to.

" No, she doesn't have a boyfriend but I think you should still back the fuck up because she is a minor," I told the guy.

He just stood there looking at me and then said with a smirk," And what about you."

" Also a minor, dick," I said grandly Belly's hand to move her away from the guy.

She planted her feet and then yelled," Steven!"

He turned to her confused," What are you doing here? I'm sorry what are you wearing?"

"I invited her, who the fuck are you," said the guy following us.

" I'm her brother and she is fifteen you pedo," Steven said.

The guy stood there with a surprised face and slowly started to walk away.

"I already told you that, dick. Don't act so surprised," I yelled at his retreating figure.

Steven and Belly started arguing as Steven tried to walk Belly to the car. Then suddenly Belly pushed Steven and then fell back. I was quick to try and pick her us before everyone saw but it was too late.

She started to stand up on her own not wanting me to help her. And then immediately saw Conrad making out with a girl.

"Belly," he said.

Belly fixed her dress and walked closer to Conrad," I thought you hated the Red Sox."

The girl turned to Conrad and then Belly," Who are you?"

"Who are you," Belly asked back.

"Nichole," she answered," Conrad and I went to the Deb ball together last summer."

"It was after you guys left to take Steve and Sophie to look at colleges," Conrad added.

" I thought you said that Deb balls are bullshit and all Debs are sheep," Belly said obviously jealous of Nichole.

"Your such a brat," Conrad said.

"We'll your an asshole," Belly said getting more mad.

"Belly, you came," Jere said trying to get everyone to calm down," We can all hang out guys."

"I was about to take her home," Steven said sternly.

"What?"

"Yeah, we're leaving. Are you kidding me?"

"Just let her stay, Steven," I told Steven feeling bad that Belly was being excluded.

"Soph, just shut up and go with your little boy toy over there," Steven said.

"Whatever," I said walking away as a flipped my middle finger to Steven.

I walked back to Lo, sitting back down on the log.

"You look really hot when your angry," he said.

I laughed.

"There that laugh I like," he said looking at my eyes and then my lips. I then looked at his lips and said 'fuck it' in my head.

We kissed. I then pulled back and looked at him. Our lips then came crashing back into each other. We must have been doing that for a while when all of the sudden I heard yelling.

I pull back and turn to see what going on when I see Conrad arguing with a guy.

"Shit, um I'll be right back," I told Lo.

I ran over to see a fight already breaking out. Belly must have also heard the commotion because she is already at the center of the fight. Just as she was going to pull them always. The other guy pulled his elbow back and hit her in the face.

"Belly," I ran up to her, checking if she was fine. " You okay?"

She nodded and then I stood up tapping the guy on the shoulder," Hey, Jackass!"

I punched him. Square in the jaw. God it hurt, I could feel my knuckles starting to bruise. Just then the guy turned his head back to me and slapped me.

"Soph," Conrad's eyes softened as he tried to walk toward her.

The guy punch Conrad in the stomach and they fought. Lo came running up to me helping me up when suddenly police sirens rang and we both ran hand in hand.

Once at the red jeep, Lo pulled me into his arms and said," If you want I could give you a ride."

"Um let me just," I said holding up my finger-walking up to Jeremiah," Lo's going to give me a ride home."

" No, Sophie. You are not riding home with a stranger and also I need you to keep an eye on Conrad."

"Uhhh.. wait," I turned back to Lo and said," Sorry, I need to babysit this idiot but I had a really great time tonight."

"I did too, um by any chance would you want to go watch a movie tomorrow at the drive-in?"

" I'd love to," I answered smiling.

I was about to climb into the car when I turned to Lo. I gave him a nice long kiss and then went into the back seat with Conrad. I waved bye to Lo as he walked away to his car.

Then Belly can with a boy I didn't recognize.

"Belly get in the car," I told her.

"Cam can give me a ride, right cam," she said.

"No, if I wasn't able to go with Lo then you aren't allowed to go with a guy you just met, get in," I said.

"I'm Cam Cameron," the boy said holding out his hand.

Jere then entered the conversation saying," Your name is Cam Cameron?"

"No, it's just Cam," he answered.

"Belly just get in the god damn car," I said irritated.

"Uh, you should probably go. But, um, the whaling boat that I intern on, leaves at dawn every morning for the piers. I was wondering if you would, uh, want to come," he asked Belly.

"Oh, yeah, yes, sure," she said giggling," I mean, how else will you get your hoodie back, right?"

"That's true," he said.

Belly leaned in a kissed Cam. She awkwardly entered the car as everyone sat there.

Jeremiah starts driving and it was quiet in the car for a few seconds when Jeremiah then curses,"Fuck! Steven! Um... Soph watches Conrad. I'll be right back."

Sophie just nodded as she sat there.

"Your hair looks so pretty. So shiny and soft. Oh and your eyes are the prettiest shade of green I've ever seen," Conrad said to me.

I sat completely still, shocked as to what was happening. I was about to say something when there was a knocking on the window.

"Have you kids been drinking?" The officer asked as she flashed her bright light at us.