DOWNWARD SPIRAL- C.F

05

"Officers, thank you," my mom said to both the officers,"It won't happen again, I can promise you that much." 

"Tell Mr. Fisher the chief wants to set up a tee time when he gets back in town," they said as they slowly walked out of the house. 

"Absolutely. Sorry again for all the trouble," she said as she closed the door," Have a good night, Officers." 

My mom turned around and the smile she had previously dropped into a very angry look "How could you guys be so irresponsible?" 

"Mom, it wasn't a big deal. All right? Seriously," I said quietly. 

"The cops were just looking to break up the bonfire," Steven added to our defense. 

"Not a big deal?" my mom said growing livid. 

I just nodded knowing there was nothing any of us can do to calm her down right now. 

"I would say getting picked up by the cops for underage drinking," and then flipped her head to me " and smoking is a pretty big deal, Steven." 

"Were-were you guys, you guys smoking tonight?" Conrad asked. 

"What?" my mom said," Keep your voice down. Susannah's asleep on the couch."

" Mom we weren't yelling, you were," I said rolling my eyes.

"Just so you know, Laurel, I-| didn't drink tonight. I was the DD, I swear," Jerimiah said trying to deescalate the situation. 

Laurel then turned her head to Conrad,"And you? You're the oldest What the hell's gotten into you?" 

"Don't put this shit on him, mom, we are all our own people and make our own decisions" I said defending Conrad. 

She just rolled her eyes at me, then turned to Belly saying, "And when did you leave the house without telling anybody? And what in the world are you wearing?"

"It's Taylor's. And why am I the only one who's not allowed to go out?"

"It's not that you're not allowed, it's that you should have told us you were going.
How did you even get there?" my mom said. 

"I walked," Belly answered sheepishly. 

"Jesus. You know better than to walk that far down the beach alone late at night,"

"Can you stop treating me like a kid?"

"If you want to be treated like an adult, you need to act like one," my mom said. 

"Then maybe you guys should, too," I said a little to loud. 

"What does that mean?" my mom said looking confused at my sudden attitude.

My mom turned to Conrad and Jerimiah saying, "I hope you realize this night could have ended a lot differently if your family wasn't your family."

"We're sorry, Laur," Jerimiah said looking at his feet. 

My mom sighed, "Just... go to bed, guys. I don't understand what is going on with you two."

Conrad and I both turned around knowing who she was talking to. 

"Nothing," we both answered. 

"Nothing's going on," Conrad answered dismissively before heading upstairs. 

I was about to head up as well when my mom called my name. 

" Sophie, why the hell did you let Belly go to the bond fire," she said looking disappointed in me.

"What the hell do you mean I let her? She's her own person you know, making her own decisions. I didn't bring her or invite her. She came all by herself.  So why is that my fault." 

"It's not your fault, but you know that I trust you to be the responsible one out of your siblings, you and I are a team remember." 

" No, I never made that choice, you did. When dad and you got divorced you forced me to help you in every single way possible. Don't you remember? All of the times when you were working late so I had to stay and take care of Belly even when I had a game or practice.  Or whenever I would get home exhausted after school, practice, and study group but I would still help you clean the kitchen. I remember all of the times I would help you without you having to ask me twice because I hoped if I helped you enough maybe you would finally tell me you're proud of me-," I said as tears started to form under my eyes.

My mom interrupted me," oh, honey I am p-."

" No, it's not your turn yet, I'm not done. I try so hard to be the perfect daughter for you and dad. I am varsity captain of two teams, get straight A's, and push myself so hard but it is never enough, so I'm done, mom. Done." 

" Honey, but I am proud of you," my mom says. 

Just hearing her say that makes me wince," too little too late mom," I say as I walk upstairs into my room. 

I fall on my bed face first into my pillow and begin to sob. I cry so hard that my head beings to hurt. I sit up and think to myself, " what is wrong with me, why can't my parents love me unconditionally like they do Steven and Belly? Why am I always the odd one out."

I stood from my bed wiping my tears and decided that if my parent were never going to be pleased with what I do, I was going to stop trying.

I started walking down the stairs slowly deciding to have a late-night surf to clear my head. I went around back and grabbed my surfboard. Heading towards the beach, I could feel my body start to relax. The waves were crashing and the moon was reflecting on the water and it was all just so beautiful. I ran into the water and surfed for about an hour before I was exhausted. 

On my walk back to the house, I could see a familiar boy sitting in the sand. 

"Hey, Connie. What are you doing out here so early," I asked.

"I just wanted to watch the sunrise, and smoke this joint," he answered as he removed the pre-roll from his ear. 

I looked towards the house seeing the kitchen light on, I figured it was probably my mom since she was always an early bird. I suddenly dreaded walking back into the house. 

I turned to Conrad and asked," Mind if I stay here." 

" No, sit," he said tapping the sand next to him," want a hit?"

"That would be great," I answered. Taking the joint and taking a long drag. 

"So, I heard your mom and you arguing," he said. 

" Sorry, you had to hear that."

"No, um I'm actually glad I heard it. Do you really feel that way?" he asked with a genuine face of concern.

" Um... yeah I guess ever since my parents divorced, it was kind of up to me to become another parent."

"I'm so sorry," Conrad said opening his arms to me," come here."

I scooted closer until I was right next to him and relaxed in his embrace. He felt so warm and comforting and it just felt so good. I couldn't even explain why but I suddenly started crying about everything in my life. But just being in his arm I felt like everything would be okay.