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Baseball bats and Zombies

"Here, drink up," Mark said,

"Isn't that the last bottle in the store?"

"Yeah, and if you don't fucking tell every undead out there about it, we might

have a chance to drink, dip shit,"

He snatched the remote from my hand then sat down, changing the channels till he landed on a prerecorded MatPatt video.

"Y'know what?"

"What?"

"Fuck this guy. He went on all about how I could live for decades off a supermarket but didn't account for the average American's love for food,"

I chuckled and opened the bag of chips and gave it to him in exchange for the drink.

"Hey, at least we got all the food we want. It's not like we were living like kings before the whole apocalypse thing,"

"Can't argue with that,"

I got up, bat in one hand, bottle on the other, and stretched.

"C'mon, I just sat down, I don't want to do any rounds," he said,

"Well, guess I'll be even more ahead on the headcount then,"

I started walking, then he got up after a very verbal expression of his displeasure.

"Where did all the rest of the people go?"

"While you were asleep last night," he said, mouth full of chips, "Bob and Daisy decided to get out there and fight the undead in the name of love. Thanks to them, I'm a point ahead of you on the headcount. Milly shot herself over at aisle 6. Was quite a mess to clean up,"

"What about that kid, youngling high schooler? What was his name? Conner? Khalid?"

"Oh, you mean Kaleb? Huh, you're right. I haven't seen him in a couple of days,"

BAM!

The loud crash of metal cans stopped us in our tracks. I took out my phone to see the cameras. The trap was trigged near Aiel 6. I switched to the camera there, and there it was, an undead eating away on the remains of Milly.

"I thought you said you cleaned it up,"

"No, I said it was a mess to clean up."

He threw the curled-up chips bag into the empty trash can, then missed.

"And how did the thing get in?"

"Thought we'd save one for later today. Y'know, practice our swings on the bat,"

"I could do that on your head,"

"What?"

"Nothing. Let's hurry,"

We took the first turn we saw to aisle 5, picking up anything round we could find. The sounds of flesh being chewed on got louder as we got closer till it suddenly stopped.

Seems like it finished, I thought.

We hid behind the shelves as we got to the aisle. There was a clear line of sight between us and the thing.

"Alright, throw it at my signal,"

I took a deep breath and tightened my grip on the metal bat,

"Now!"

It all went by fast. The ball was in the air. I froze as it turned. It, however, didn't. It came at me with the boy's face barely hanging.

"Move, fucking dipshit! "

Mark tackled me out of its way and then stood up. The thing was a couple feet ahead, now facing us, still growling.

"Come at me, bitch,"

It charged at Mark, and he did the same, only at the last second did he slide to the ground and make the blow.

Crack!

The sound of its kneecaps being crushed was the only thing there, then will one swift blow, he bashed its head in.

Mark collapsed on the floor, still catching his breath.

"Guess we know what happened to the boy," he said, "Guess we do,"

"Go bring the mop, let's clean this shit up,"

He threw a ball at me when I didn't respond,

"Move dude. I can't clean up two undead all by myself,"

"Y-yeah sure,"

I went back to aisle 5, a longer walk than I expected it to be, and came back

with two mops, some water and detergent, a couple of air fresheners cans and buckets, then we went to work. It took us nearly the whole day to clean the mess up. The dried-up blood was especially a bitch to get rid of. Later on, we opted to do it in turns. One would clean while the other would sit and rest, then vice versa.

It was my turn when we finished. I put the bodies and the dismembered parts in the buckets and turned to Mark. "Shall we?" He sighed and came to my side. We squatted with our hands on the buckets. "On the count of three. One, two, three," then, with a swift motion, picked them up and raced to the TVs. When we got there, I just dropped the bucket, then myself out of exhaustion.

"Holy fuck, that bitch was heavy," he said. I chuckled between my breaths.

"We should change up before the blood dries," I said, "Yeah yeah. I'll get to it in a bit. Get the fire ready."

I didn't get up till he did then I started working on the fire. Lied the bodies properly, a little bit of animal fat, a little bit of gas, then bam, postapocalyptic campfire.

Mark came back after a minute in new clothes and some spares for me. He got to the marshmallows while I changed up.

"Here," he said, then handed me a stick and my beer. I got to roasting.

"Dude, you're burning the thing," I turned to the marshmallow, and the thing was gone with half of the stick. "Well, that was a waste," I said and took a swing of the beer.

I dug my hands into the plastic bag and started eating the unroasted ones.

"I have an idea," he said, "Why don't we just ditch this place?"

"Ditch?"

"Yeah. These are the end times, and we're probably the only people alive for miles at this point. We should start exploring,"

I took another swing of the beer, "I think you had one too much,"

"Did I? We always wanted to get out of here, and now we can. It's not like we have anything remaining here,"

He was right. Everyone is now officially gone.

"We could go to the hot springs place nearby," I said.

"Exactly! Shit isn't that far, then we can hit up the five-star hotels that I used to work in. Sleep in those comfy ass beds!"

I smiled, "That settles it then. Let's go get the bikes on Aiel 3 cause I don't care if it's the end days or a Tuesday, I'm not walking anywhere while I can avoid it,"

"Amen! Race you there. The last one there gets to drive when we get a car,"

"Sounds like a fair plan. Just don't start without tel—"

Then he dashed off without a second notice,

"You son of a bitch!" 

P.S. : This was slightly inspired by the Zom 100 : Bucket list of the dead manga