Divya

23: Pushed away

* Panic attack * Hi my lovely's there will be a panic attack in this chapter so if your not comfortable please just skip to the next chapter. ❤️

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Lorenzo

When I got back home I was fuming. How dare she embarrass me like that. I stormed up to the room she's staying in only to find her asleep. The blankets were half off her and she was shivering. I couldn't stop my feet from moving but I found myself tucking her in.

I started at her while she slept peacefully. I get this feeling when I'm with her like I get something telling me that I have to protect her.

I walked out of her room and into the gym I had built in downstairs. I spot the treadmill and start off with a slow jog but then get faster and faster.

My mind drifted back to Divya and if she had ever dated anyone or if she had a boyfriend.

Before I knew it I was driving my fists into the lynching bag In front of me. As I was about to slam my fist back into the bag again a hand stopped it. I looked over my shoulder to see Divya standing there.

She didn't say anything just dragged me into a bathroom I have in my gym and started cleaning my knuckles. As she was standing between my legs attending to my wounds my eyes darted to her lips. The way they were perfectly moulded like a sculpture.

Before I knew it my hand grabbed the back of her neck and I slammed my lips onto hers. She almost responded immediately like she was expecting this. I licked her bottom lips asking her entrance but when she denied I pinched the side of her hips, as she gasped I took the opportunity to shove my tongue into her mouth.

Our tongues fought for dominance as teeth clashed. I ended up winning. Her hands found there way into my hair as she tugged at it which released a small groan from me.

I grabbed her waist bringing her to straddle me. She pulled away out of breath and rested her forehead against mine. All of a sudden it was like a tone of rocks came down on me and I pushed her away then walked out.

What was I thinking. I wasn't thinking that's the problem. I can't like her, I won't like her. She's the enemy. Feeling just make me weak. I can't be weak. I can't help but think back to my fathers words.

You don't deserve love, your a cold hearted monster that deserves nothing but pain.

I sigh and punch the wall as I head to my room to go and shower.

Divya

I decided to walk around the house when I heard noise coming from downstairs. I opened the big doors to see Lorenzo punching the bag and bloody knuckles. I quickly stopped a punch that was about to land on the bag again and dragged him to the bathroom.

As I cleaned his cuts his hand suddenly gripped the back of my neck and our lips connected.
It felt so magical. His lips were so rough while mine were soft. Teeth clashing and tongues fighting for dominance. He then pushed me away and stormed out.

I stood there confused as to why he just pushed me away. Maybe I wasn't good enough.
Maybe it wasn't a good kiss. Maybe it was-

I was pulled out of my thoughts as I heard moans. My eyebrows pulled together as I peaked my head around the corner. What I saw made tears spring to my eyes.

Lorenzo was pounding into a blond click while smirking looking directly at me. I would have normally held his gaze but I couldn't even bring myself to open my eyes after I quickly shut them before going back into the bathroom.

No. Your not going to let him break you. You are going to go out there with your head held high. No tears.

I took a deep breath in and whipped my tears before slamming the bathroom door open making the girls head snap in my direction. I held my head high as i walked out of there and went in to my room and locked the door.

As soon as I locked my door I cried, screamed and threw things around. I know we "hate" each other and have barely been together but finally felt comforted around him. Never have I felt that with any other person before. I thought I didn't deserve that feeling but when I felt it I was over the moon. Then the feeling got crushed, crushed into little pieces.

I went over to the book self in my room and grabbed a random book. Green and grey.

Never read this book but was going to give it a try.
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A maid came into my room and told me it was time for dinner. I shook my head and told her I wasn't hungry, I already ate a bing lunch.

That was a big big lie. I am really hungry but can't find the energy in me to bring myself to eat. I let a few tears escape while leaving back against the wall.

Why can't I be normal, have one normal meal without feeling like I'm going to be sick. It not that hard Divya.

Stupid.Stupid.Stupid.

My breathing started to get shallow and I found myself clawing at my throat begging it to let me breath.

I crawled my way over to the shower and turned the temperature to cold then sat under it. I tried to focus on my breathing.

In. Out. In. Out.

That wasn't working so that caused me to only panic further. Black dots clouded my vision and before I new it I let darkness overcome me.

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So how was this chapter.

Hope it was ok. Thank you for reading my book you all don't know how much this means to me.

Xx