Thoughts

One Day At A Time, The Sun Gon' Shine

Before you start, check out the song above~. I forget if the song has cussing or not, so viewer's discretion is advised. Can you handle the awesomeness of Rap Monster? -UM

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This is my story. The one that starts with young girl in high school dealing inner struggles.

I've never stayed in one place too long. Ever since the end of 4th grade, I've been moving every two years to a new state. As well as a new school...

Because of that I've never really had a chance to settle down and solidify friendships. And on top of that, I'm already really shy.

It's now the year of 2014. I am now starting a new high school in the state of California.

I wonder how this is going to work out, honestly...

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"Please don't act like your stupid because I know you're not!"

My mom was yelling at me again...

Every time she does, it feels like a searing hot dagger is being stabbed into my chest. My eyes automatically divert their attention to the floor as they fill with tears. I try my best not to let them fall; I promised myself I wouldn't.

I look up only for a tear to slip down my face. I inwardly curl into myself because I know what's going to happen now.

"You better hold in those tears because honestly I don't care anymore. You act like you want to give up, when you haven't even tried! Actually try some time!"That's the one thing that hurts me the most. When I say something, half the time she doesn't even believe me.

I feel a bright flash of anger before trying to smother it before she can pick up on it.

"I'll try my best..." This only comes out of my mouth as a murmur.

I pick up my bookbag and head towards the door. 6:50 A.M. It was time to walk to school. It usually takes around 20 minutes.

As I head out, I called out to my mom, "Love you!" I don't hear a response and just sigh, closing the door and heading down the stairs leading up to my apartment.

I knew no matter how much I thought I hated her, I would always love her. She's tried her best to raise my brother and I alone. She was on her on from the very beginning. She couldn't let my brother become a statistic.

A black male in jail before they can experience life for their own. Influenced by the people around them and discrimination cutting off their opportunities.

I don't like to dwell in my thoughts too much. They just make me solemn and somber.

The way I escape reality is through drawing, music and stories. I usually don't tell people that I read fanfiction because I know their first thought, whether they believe or not, is, 'Oh. You read fanfiction?' We all know that we judge others when they say they read things that are basically spin-offs of an original series.

I've gained a friend that has the same interests as me. One of those things are K-Pop as well. It's not really something us fans just shout to the world because we know what reactions we will get. And I mean we all know. 'You mean like Gangnam Style?' and 'Oh, I don't like pop music.' Like really? Can you not judge something so suddenly about one thing?! K-Pop is not just pop music nor is it always something like Gangnam Style...

I guess got off topic again. The point is that usually when people hear that I like those things, they suddenly seem to become slightly wary or even judgmental.

I'm jolted out of my thoughts and into the realm of reality when my foot suddenly gets caught on a crack in the side walk. "Whoop, whoop. Whooop, whooop, whoop."

I stagger and quickly regain my balance, looking up to see if anyone saw. That's just another thing I'm embarrassed about. I always make weird noises when I become startled. This just counts as one seeing as my face almost met the ground.

I see a couple of cars drive past; a few of the drivers turn to watch and then look away when I catch their eye. My face flushes; they probably saw everything.

Well so much for hoping to be not seen. An automatic thought that I have when people stop to look at me is 'What are you looking at? Mind your business!' Besides you're driving a car, why're you watching me and not the road?

I arrive in front of my school. I gather in the courage to take on a new day and straighten my back with my head held high. While I'm here, I might as well look my best...