stranger things imagines.

to speak or to die: eddie munson.

{request for: Deaneecameron <33}

my mother has always been a firm believer in the truth.
that anything you say should be said with conviction and with honesty.
which is why i knew there was no falsity in her words when she told me,
"you don't fit in because you're, well, a little off putting. you're intimidating. smile more and people might talk to you."
those words had been carved into my flesh;
visible in marks of cruelty gifted to me by my mother.
it's no big secret that i'm the odd one out.
i quite prefer it that way more often than not.
but perhaps that is just me pretending solitude is an option,
when it's something that's rather been forced upon me since words could leave my lips in completion.
today is no different.
as i sit in the corner of the classroom,
where my attention is cast out of the window and towards the gloomy weather,
the world around me drowns out.
what i wouldn't give to just slip right past this glass cage confining me to the classroom and sit atop the hill,
letting the air charged with the anticipation of a storm smooth over my skin and warm me.
anything might be a bit more tolerable than this.
with this teacher droning on and on about a book in which none of the students have read,
the same students who are either consumed in their own whispers of conversation or fast asleep in their seats.
"...unbuttoned my shirt collar, and then i put on this hat that i'd bought in new york..."
i lean my head against the cold window and sigh beneath my breath.
i take it until i can't anymore.
no matter how hard i try day after day,
i can never make it past first period.
like clockwork,
i raise my hand and excuse myself to the bathroom,
where i will not return and where nobody will notice.
the air is as every bit refreshing as i'd believed it would be.
the wind brings the promise of rain but holds off just for now,
long enough for me to climb to the highest point of hawkins and sit in silence.
i watch above as the grey clouds come together to cover what could be the shining sun.
i soon reach into the bag at my side and find my favorite form of company.
i take the lighter and bring it to the tail end of my guilty pleasure,
lighting it for all the smoke to make refuge in my lungs.
it burns for a few,
but in a pleasurable way.
like how good it feels to pull at stubborn eyebrow hairs;
it hurts but the result is so satisfying.
i'm a few drags in,
feeling the end result and it's pleasure,
when the snapping of branches behind me makes me flinch.
i turn around to face whoever it may be,
but come up empty.
"you know, you should really find a better place to do that at. i can smell it all the way downtown."
i gasp at the sudden voice until the person in which it belongs to steps out from the shadows.
eddie munson.
though i know the name well enough,
there's very little i know of him.
"it's nothing hawkins isn't used to,"
i reply with a gentle smile,
then turn back to the view before me.
i think it nothing more than casual conversation meant to warn me of his passing by,
until he continues by saying,
"i never took you for a smoker."
"didn't realize you took me for anything."
i turn back around and face him again.
eddie let's a chuckle slip past his lips,
folds his arms across his chest,
then asks rather timidly,
"got room for one more?"
who am i to deny the simple pleasure of company?
i must admit,
being on my lonesome is beginning to grow melancholic.
it would be nice to have a friend.
which is why i reply with ease,
"yeah, i can make some room."
i move over just an inch as eddie joins at my side.
i offer him the relief hanging between my lips and watch as he takes it into his own,
pulling the smoke from within and letting it soothe him over.
i take a quiet moment to gaze upon this new company of mine.
eddie munson has always been a name i'd heard,
a person i'd passed in the halls,
but this is the first we've ever genuinely seen each other.
at least i believed that to be true but am proven wrong when eddie begins speaking,
"couldn't bear catcher in the rye anymore, huh?"
he passes back to me the aflame pleasure we've shared when he asks.
i keep it balanced between my fingers as i realize what it is he's referring to.
eddie and i share the same english class,
the very same one i neglect to sit through every morning.
has he noticed me when i've yet to notice him?
this strikes me as no surprise though,
considering i walk with my head down nearly always.
"i might if she wasn't so...so monotone. it's miserable."
eddie laughs in agreement as i finish the last of our enjoyment and pass it back.
"salinger is nothing but a whiny douche, anyways. you're not missing much."
i toss him a smile as the morning sun begins to warm up the day,
though the air is still humid with upcoming storms.
"so, what? did you follow me out here or something?"
"nah. this is where i come to toke up too."
he returns our smoldering enjoyment then hugs his knees to his chest with a grin.
"but i'm sure you'd love it if i really had followed you out here, huh?"
"not at all. that's a terrifying thought."
eddie quirks his head to the side while he asks,
"terrifying why? am i that scary?"
"a total stranger following me when i'm alone? yeah, it's terrifying. and it's nothing personal, either."
i flick a rock beside me in hopes of distracting myself as i admit,
"besides, you're not even scary."
a smile breaks across eddie's lips to replace the grin that was once there before.
"you're not so scary yourself, y/n."
"is that what people think of me?"
eddie brings his shoulders up in a shrug then quickly drops them before he speaks,
"does it matter what people think?"
"...i mean, kind of."
he shakes his head in disagreement.
"the kids in that school...they're all carbon copies of the same tedious existence. aren't you glad to be your own self, someone actually different?"
i can't help but to pull my bottom lip between my teeth as i try and figure him out.
every word spoken is one soaked with complexity,
yet they come from simple thoughts.
is this how easy it is for eddie munson?
i suppose when i think a little harder at his words,
it is rather the better option to be my most authentic self rather than be shoved in a mold i will never fit in.
when a smile breaks across my lips,
eddie nudges me to say,
"ah! see? i knew you'd understand."
he reaches over to take the pleasure from my distracted hands and places it between his lips.
between my admiring thoughts,
i form the coherence to say,
"it sounds cool when you put it like that."
the brunette boy leans back and stretches his legs out before he speaks,
giving me time to sit in silence while i dote upon him.
the smoke clouds around his existence and is soon granted passageway past his crimson lips to hang in the air around us.
"it's all about perspective."
i can't help but to turn the entirety of my body towards him now.
i'm suddenly entranced into his company,
unable to do anything but stare.
"here. you take the last of it."
"oh, the perfect gentleman,"
i tease as i inhale the last bit of smoke and snuff it out beside me.
"so, eddie munson, humor me."
"i'd be more than happy to."
we pass each other small grins at the exchange of words before i continue,
"would you rather have more time or more money?"
"easy,"
he scoffs out.
"money. what could i do with more time? nah...you can do anything with the right amount of money."
then he nods his chin in my direction when he asks,
"you?"
"yeah, same. all the time in the world would be...useless, honestly. i'd rather be rich."
eddie and i collapse into a symphony of our laughter.
"exactly. you get it,"
he says with a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
despite having known of him;
i'm finally seeing eddie in all his perfect peculiarity all these years later.
how had i been so blind to such distinctive charm?
i'm understanding it now,
and how beautiful it is.
if i were any good at reading people,
i might suggest the look in eddie's eye quite mirrors mine;
the recognition of odd souls,
the question of:
can i exist with you?
to wonder if we might belong right in each other's company.
eddie's red lips slightly part open,
and out comes the voice of an angel itself,
"what do you think, y/n? better to speak or to die?"
i press my cheek to my knee in hopes of smothering this smile of mine,
but it does no good.
i answer in the softest of tones,
"to speak. my mother always raised me up on the truth."
"mm. your mother sounds like an intelligent woman."
i giggle and give him a shrug.
"and you? are you speaking or dying?"
"speak. always speak."
eddie coughs up a chuckle as he picks at the blades of grass surrounding us.
there's something in his eyes that encourages me to say,
"so, speak."
eddie nudges me with the slight graze of his knuckles to my shoulder in acknowledgement,
though i sense it's an attempt to lessen his riling nerves;
the same ones that pound in my veins now that i've challenged him.
we listen as the thunder rumbles overhead in announcement of the arising downpour while we wait for his next move,
whatever it may be.
"i think you're the most beautiful girl i've ever seen."
i blink slowly at his compliment while the smile pulls across my cheeks.
i realize now how i've never truly been in the presence of someone and wallowed away in it like i am right now.
any other time,
i might have been scrambling to fill the space with syllables of useless words that would reach deaf ears,
but not here.
not with eddie.
with him,
we can stare off beyond the horizon and watch this golden sun be put on pause while tiny raindrops fall from the eyes of the clouds above us.
we can sit in the quiet and not worry about speaking through the silence,
only enjoying what we've salvaged together.
might i be a fool to consider it?
maybe.
might i be naive to toy with the idea of us living our lives together,
solely based off of this one day?
maybe so.
better to speak than to die,
so i'll let my lips part open and let the words fall out,
"i think i'd like it if you kissed me now."
the look of elated surprise flashes across his face,
but he hurries to cover it with a fresh facade.
i don't say anything,
i simply smile.
"funny 'cause, i think i'd like it, too. "
eddie cups a hand to the curve of my jaw and brings me into where his lips reside,
leaving me speechless and numb the moment his lips graze mine.
it's soft and gentle at first,
like eddie might be tiptoeing around me.
it is tender,
careful,
and everything i could have ever imagined.
it's only when i tangle my hands into his hair does he fall deeper into me;
pulling me into his arms like he might try to entwine his existence with my very own.
eddie bends to the curve of me and lets his tongue trace the swelling of my bottom lip.
i hear a chuckle deep in his throat at the way i shiver under his touch.
the air around us is thick with static,
but i'm unsure if it's from the storm or from what we're creating in this very moment.
after so long of being pushed away,
ignored and criticized,
a wound deep in my soul is beginning to heal from these very hands that are pulling me in, praising me, and making me whole again.
when we pull away from each other,
left in ragged breaths,
eddie gives me a grin to breathlessly say,
"i'll skip every class with you if you promise to keep...keep kissing me like that."
"no promises,"
i whisper through my winded lungs.
him and i exhale a laugh together before his arm is draped over my shoulder.
how warm i fall into his embrace.
i kiss eddie's chin to say without parting my lips:
thank you for being here with me.
and when a kiss is planted on my forehead in return,
i know he's saying the very same:
thank you for giving me a chance.
the proof that it is better to speak than to die is live and in the flesh right now,
with shaggy hair, hazy eyes, and a beautiful smile.
eddie munson and i are free to celebrate the love we're creating all because we let the words of confession build in our throat to later be heard.
"so, are we skipping again and coming back here tomorrow?"
i'm drawn away from my thoughts at eddie's voice,
and i laugh at this question.
but i find no hesitation in my answer,
"yeah...and maybe everyday after that."
finally,
we've found exactly where we fit in after a lifetime of searching.
and it's in the arms of each other;
my head to eddie's chest,
his arm to my shoulder.
we are home.