Broken

Under the Panakes

That night, sleeping in the guest room, Sophie had a nightmare. She couldn't remember the specifics, but that gut-feeling of fear remained when she stood up, hair in a messy bun, early light of the morning sun just barely peeking up over the horizon.

She checked on Keefe, finding him still sleeping in her bed. Ella was tucked under his arm, his nose buried between her fluffy ears, and she chuckled a happy laugh at the sight, a warm feeling in her chest.

That warmth remained as she stepped into some slippers, making her way outside for a breath of fresh air. The panakes tree looked inviting, and she settled underneath the fluttering flowers with a sigh of contentment. For once, everything felt manageable. Her fight with the Neverseen wasn't even close to over, she knew that. But she had fought them and won. When it really mattered, she had been able to get Keefe back.

Footsteps crunched in front of her, pulling her out of her reverie. She looked up to see Fitz, a blush forming on her face at the state her hair was in, the fluffy pajamas she was wearing. "Hey," he said as he approached.

"Hey."

He sat down in the grass beside her. "How's Keefe doing?" His voice sounded a bit strained.

"He's alright. Still recovering, but we got him before his mom could cause too much damage."

"About that..." His tone worried her, and she gave him a questioning look that led him to go on. "Why didn't you involve me, Sophie? I...I could've helped." She could hear the anger he was trying to restrain.

"I'm sorry, Fitz, I didn't want to risk anybody getting hurt. Plus, during Mr. Forkle's meeting you seemed so against it that I-"

"He's my friend too, Sophie."

His words were sharp, and she winced, forcing her hand to stay at her side instead of tugging at an eyelash. "I-I'm sorry. I just had to get him back. I've been there and I couldn't stand the thought of him going through the same thing that Dex and I did. Even worse, what with his mom there."

Fitz sighed, a disappointed look riddling his face. "It's okay. I get it. Just...don't leave me out like that again, okay? I just want to help."

Sophie nodded, giving him a small smile.

His eyes darted to Havenfield behind her, and she watched as a light entered his eyes, a smile flitting across his face before he looked back at her. He reached a hand up to cup her face, and her stomach did a flip when he leaned in closer. "Thank you," he said, his breath a flash of warmth across her face.

Sophie froze for a second, her heart racing in her chest. She couldn't tell if it was in a good way or a bad way. But that indecision caused her to lean away as Fitz leaned in further. Her movement caused him to back away, surprise widening his eyes.

Sophie cringed. "Sorry."

"Why?" She knew he wasn't asking why she was sorry. He was asking why she'd backed away, rejected his kiss.

"Fitz, I'm Matchless. I know you don't want that in a girlfriend." Her face turned red at the mention of her Match status, shame heating her cheeks.

"But we can fix that, Sophie. We just need to figure out who your parents are and then-"

"Fitz, I don't want to find out who my parents are." The confession forced its way out of her, but she kept going even as his head reared back in shock. As his eyes lit with frustration. Frustration that was aimed at her. "I don't want to find out who my parents are."

"Why not??" His anger was barely leashed as his gaze burned into her.

"Does it matter?" Sophie had hoped that he would understand, that he wouldn't push her on this. Clearly, her hopes had been misplaced. But she wasn't going to let herself take it this time. No, this time she was ready to stand up for herself.

"Of course it matters! If you really cared about our relationship then you would want to-"

"If you really cared about our relationship, about me, then this wouldn't matter to you. The appearances, the titles, none of it would matter to you."

There was silence for a moment. Sophie watched him process her words, watched as they sunk in.

Then, in a low voice, he said, "We're done."

Sophie's head pulled back in surprise. "Wh-what?"

"You heard me. We're done."

Sophie hadn't been expecting it. But she didn't feel as heartbroken as she thought she would've been. "Okay. If that's what you want."

Fitz leapt away without another word. And with that, Sophie trudged back inside. No, she wasn't sad. She was just tired. Worried about how this would impact their solid group of Neverseen-resistance. But that would all come later. She would unpack it later. And for the first time in a while, she would let herself take time to relax before she did it.