To Be With a Teller

Decisions Decisions

After our encounter in the kitchen, I told Jax he can watch the boys. I needed time for myself and time to think. With everything going on, I felt like I was losing who I was.
I sat in the cool grass, the grave stone of my father sitting in front of me. I sighed to myself, wondering how I got myself into this shit show. How I brought myself back into the chaos. Was Jax and I even in love? Or was this all just a way for him to distract himself from Tara.
Why does this all have to be so difficult all the time? I had made my mind up, whether Jax wanted the baby or not. I was keeping it.
He can make his choice if he wanted to be apart of it. Either way, I didn't see us working well. We hadn't even slept together since we found out about the baby, and he was far to distracted with the club. But I also had no idea who to tell because I felt so alone in this endeavour. Gemma would be the only one I felt comfortable telling but of course the downside is I didn't want to complain about her son to her.

"Dad if you were here? What would you tell me to do?" I knew he had sucked at advice, rarely did I ever ask him for help even when I was a kid but he was the only one I felt would be on my team. I heard the revving of engines behind me. A Harley had pulled up next to my car and Chibbs had taken his helmet off, setting it on his handle bars. He walked through the cemetery, his boots kicking up the gravel as he walked towards me
"Hey lassie, Jax told me to check on you." I rolled my eyes at his statement.
"Why?" I huffed and he plopped into the grass next to me.
"Worried I guess? I mean you haven't been yourself recently. Less spunky." I chuckled at his remark. Squinting my eyes as the sun shone from behind his shoulder.
"Spunky hey?" He shrugged.
"Why you been so glum? I mean normally you make a habit out of picking on the guys and you haven't even been wanting to do that," I looked and Chibbs carefully, tears had willed up in my eyes. And I didn't know if I should even tell him.
"I think I made a mistake Chibbs," he furrowed his brow.
"Why Lass?" He through an arm over my shoulder.
"I shouldn't have stayed, I should have known better," he squeezed my shoulder.
"Hey you needed family, and don't think that Jax would let you go so easy. He does love you M, even if he is an arse," I rolled my eyes again.
"Did he tell you?" I asked Chibbs softly. And he squinted his eyes at me in confusion.
"Nah, I don't know what your talking about," a tear rolled down my cheek.

"I'm pregnant," I sobbed, but it wasn't out of sadness.
No, it was the overwhelming energy that had been placed on my shoulders the last few weeks. Without the feeling of being supported and it was all bubbling out now.

"I see, Jacky knows I'm assuming?" I nodded and Chibbs hugged me closer.
"He is an arse," I chuckled at his comment and he kissed my forehead.
"Mira, you're not alone alright. I and the club are your family. We will look out for you, and I may have a word with Jacky boy when we get back."
I sniffled silently, the relief of telling someone else made me feel less like this baby was a taboo. And more like a miracle. I wanted nothing more then to be a mother but did Jax want to be a father again?

Chibbs and I headed back to the club house, a few of the Mayans were sitting outside smoking. Chibbs walked into the club house first, I peered back at the few Mayans and I swear I recognized one of them. I told Chibbs I'd meet him inside and I turned to walk up to them. Chibbs grabbed my hand.
"Be careful, alright," I nodded and he turned to walk in to the clubhouse
I slid my hands into the pockets of my jeans, and walked up to the table of Mayans.
"Hey, Gemma just finished up with a pot of chilli, would you guys want any?" A man's with a large goatee and rings all over his fingers stroked his beard.
"I could eat, will you be joining?" He looked me up and down.
"No, but there is plenty so go get your fill?" A man a little larger then beard man push him to the club house.
"Angel stop being weird, that's Jax Teller's old lady," I grimaced at his name for me.
"My name is Mira Fuller, my father was apart of the club," The man named Angel, looked at the familiar man at the table. A scrawny guy beside him piped up,
"Let's go grab some grub," he pushed them two others inside. Leaving the last Mayan and I at the table.
"Sorry for being so blunt but have we met before?" The man stood up from the table and leaned against the top of it.
"I use to go to Brown." And it clicked. We had gone to college together. But I couldn't put my finger on where we had met.
"My name is EZ..." and before he even finished talking I knew where I had known him from. I had gotten sick in his dorm after a party.
"Oh my gosh that's you!" I covered my face and he chuckled.
"Yeah you got pretty sick in my bathroom," I internally had died with the memory of that night. And the luck that this guy had ended up being in the Mayans.
"I'm so sorry still. It may have been years ago but it is still embarrassing," he smiled at me and he offered me a seat. We continued to talk about college for a while. Sitting in the sun as everyone else had headed in for dinner.