"What for?" I slide my tongue across my bottom lip, still tingling from before. I look at Cheryl to find that she's staring at me, chewing on her bottom lip whilst aimlessly playing with the hem of my top.
"What do you think?" She stops, and clenches her fist around the bottom of my top now, inspecting her own bruises.
"I mean it Kimba, I really do... It could have been so much worse. We both know that." I don't answer, I wouldn't know what to say. A while passes before I can't stand the telling silence,
"Cheryl, I, well- I think maybe we should get you cleaned up. Nice shower, clean clothes. And babe?"
"Yeah?"
"I wanna look at your cuts more, I mean, just, wouldn't want them to get infected..."
She starts nervously fiddling with the tips of her hair now, pulling at spilt ends,
"Ay yea, right, course. I'll just pop into the shower first though?"
"Yep, there's soaps and shampoo and conditioner in there, fresh towels, I'll just get you out some new clothes too."
"Thanks babe but you really don't hav-"
"Stop. I want ok? When are you ever going to get that?"
She sighs and gets up from under the bed, walking towards the door of my bathroom. I watch as she hesitates in gripping the handle, inhaling deeply.
"Cheryl? You ok?"
"Hmm? Yeah I just..."
"Cheryl. Honest?"
She grimaces, still firmly holding the door handle,
"I ah, it's stupid don' worry."
"Nothing is stupid. Nothing you say will ever be stupid to me, remember?" Her eyes flick to the door, and then back at the ground, searching for an option, but she doesn't get one, sighing, she slides her hand off the handle and turns to face me, crossing her arms across her chest,
"I can't, I don' wanna see meself on the, the mirror Kimba. It just, I hate lookin' at it. Makes us feel sick."
I can't believe this is what he has done to her, what kind of woman can't look at her own reflection out of fear? Fear of what some other human being has turned them into?
"Cheryl, you haven't changed babe. Have a nice shower, clean off, get into some new clothes. You gorgeous, you know that? Don't let anyone make you feel different."
"It's not the same. I still see someone else when I look in the mirror don't I? A totally different person staring back at us...I can wash it off, but there'll always be dirty marks."
She's right. In her dark hole everything is tainted, even her own reflection is a mask, her eyes wandering and haunted, searching for something to focus on.
"You need to face up to it Cheryl. One step at a time. Not looking in the mirror isn't gone to change your reflection. You can't let something like this beat you."
"I know, just- will you come in with us?"
"Why babe?"
"If I'm gonna face up to it I don't want to do it...on me own." She has a cute little pout on her face as she says this, her face slightly pink with embarrassment. She shakes her head and scowls,
"Don't worry about it, I'm a big girl."
"No Cheryl," I get up from my position on the floor and tiptoe over behind her, my hands slinking around her waist, resting my head on her shoulder I whisper in her ear,
"You ready babe? I'll go in with you."
I make sure I have a firm grip on her hand as the door creaks open, fearing her reaction. She accepts it gladly, interlocking our fingers and squeezing my hand gently. She has a paralyzing grip on my hand by the time she comes face-to-face with the mirror.
I watch intently as she raises her right hand, lightly skimming over her bruises and running over the length of her cut, then I see her expression change, her fist bunches tighter as her face turns red, temper flaring.
"How! He- Why would he?! I just want to-"
"Chez, I know, please calm down."
She freezes for a moment and looks at my reflection, her hand flies over her mouth when she sees me bent over, my hand covering my own face,
"I'm sorry babe, I just lost me temper a bit there, I wasn't going to hit anything I promise."
"I know, I was just, I know."
Her face turns to a frown again as she cups my face in her hands, tutting quitely as she looks at my own cheek.
"Has he- has he done this before?"
"No! God no, I would never had stayed if he did."
"If only it were that simple hey?" She replies.
"Wait, had Ashley?
"No, definitely not. That's why I don't understand. He loved us once...makes us wonder how much I changed?" The look on her face shows me that she is deep in thought, not wanting a reply. Eventually she sighs loudly, giving my hand a quick squeeze before letting go, and turning to face the shower.
"Thanks Kimba, I wasn't sure how I was going to react. Honestly, I'm sorry about, you know."
"I know. Don't sweat it. Enjoy your shower."
She doesn't make a move towards the shower, she just stands there aimlessly, focussing on nothing inparticular.
"Cheryl? Shower?"
"Oh yeah, Kimba?"
"Yeah?" She walks over to me slowly and wraps her arms around me, which I eagerly respond to, burying my head in her long locks. After a long while, we both pull away.
"What was that for?" I ask,
"Nothing. Just thought we could both use a hug."
She flashes me a smile as she faces the shower, and I take this as my que to exit. I walk back towards my bed and collapse on it, waiting for Cheryl to come back out.
----
From now on, I have decided that the story will mostly be in Kimba's POV, it's just easier to write and inderstand that way. However, I will switch for short periods of time to Cheryl's, so you get to know how she is feeling too.
Thanks for reading xxx
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Dont Help Me
FanfictionALL credit goes to 'chezza loves curly wurly' on GAM. None of this fic is mine. Enjoy! My little look inside the story: Standing on the top of a bridge looking down to the only solution she can think of, Cheryl Cole battles against her own mind to...