Dont Help Me

Chapter 18

I don't know what I am meant to say now. Is she asking questions? Does she want us to explain? Does she hate me? Should I leave now? I watch as she looks around the room, taking in every part of ther scenery, formulating a sentence in her brain.

I just stare. I stare at the woman that I have just poured me heart out to. I stare at the woman that is now digesting the fact that I'm not who she thought I was. What she thought I was before she said she loved us.

She doesn't seem angry. Not upset. Just confused. Confused by the situation. Confused by her thoughts. Confused by her feelings. Confused by us. Maybe she is second guessing everthing. Maybe she wants us out. Maybe she doesn't care about us. But when she looks us straight in the eye and reaches her hand to touch me cheek, I know she isn't mad,

"How could it be your fault babe?"

I feel a stir in the pit of me stomach, and I don't reply. She holds my gaze, making sure that I can't look away, not even if I tried,

"Cheryl?"

"Nobody knows Kimba. Nobody knows what I said to him just before he died. He was proud of us, he just wanted me to be safe, and now look."

She moves in again and wraps us in her embrace. I nuzzle me head into the crook of her neck to stop the tears from falling. Although at this moment I feel as though I could burst, with every little kiss on me forehead, with every little whisper in me ear, she is easing the pain, maybe a little too much, too soon.

"Cheryl, are you going to tell me?"

No. How can I tell her? The words won't ever come out.

"Kimba. I can't. You'll look at us different, different to how you did before you said you loved us. At least, you think you love us. Either way, you won't be able to stand the sight of us Kimba."

"Is that what this is about? You still think I'm going to leave? That I'm going to just, get over you and leave you alone? Cause that is not happening Cheryl." She kisses me forhead again, and pulls me tightly in towards her, making hushing noises as I cry into her shoulder.

"Everyone I trust leaves." Four simple words, but they mean so much,

"That's just fact in my life."

She looks down at us, I can't quite make out whether a look of sympathy or a look of pity flashes across her face,

"You must be able to tell me one person Cheryl."

One person. I have a few good friends I suppose, a best friend,

"Lily." I choke out, "Lily is still around. Probably because it's in her contract though."

"Cheryl! No. Is Lily your best friend?"

"Y-yes..."

"Then that's why she will always be there for you. No other reason."

She leans down and pecks us softly on the lips, twice, and then she wipes away me tears with the pad of her thumb. I find meself doing anything but looking straight at her, and not for the first time today either,

"Speaking of friends," I blurt out, "Yours left this morning. Nadine left you a note. It's over on the kitchen table, on top of all your...recipe books."

"I wonder what she wants?"

"Dunno." I reply, "I haven't read it."

"Well then maybe I should check. Oh and Cheryl?" She turns back abruptly, catching me eyes and taking a firm hold, "We haven't finished talking yet babe."

Of course we haven't, that girl just never gives up. I chuckle silently to meself as I watch her walking over towards where the note sits, not being able to resist my eyes from gravitating to her swaying hips...

KIMBERLEY'S POV

I feel her eyes on me as I grab the note Nadine has left me, she has written it on the back of an old crossword puzzle, scribbled out hurridly in fountain ink.

'Hey Kimbers, Sarah and I thought we should leave early given work and all, and thanks for not getting us too drunk! I just wanted to remind yous that we need a chat soon, I'm your best friend, we're your best friends, and we don't believe you no matter how much you insist. Btw, you and Cheryl are cute when you cuddle . I'm not blind...'

It is quick and short but it speaks a thousand words. Was I that obvious? Were we that obvious?

"Kimba I'm making a cuppa. Want one?"

"Ah - yeah. What?" I stutter.

"A brew silly. You know, tea, cuppa?"

"Oh yeah, thanks."

I trudge into the front room, still firmly grasping the note in my hand. It is all too real now.

"Hey, you're acting strange. Was it the note? Was it - was it us? Oh god I knew this would happen -" The words roll off her tongue as she sets the mug infront of me.

"No no Cheryl it's, umm, here. Read."

I shove the note towards her and her eyes widen as they scan the page, she doesn't speak straight away, but she is clearly contemplating what Nadine said,

"Are you going to tell them babe?" She smiles sweetly, reassuringly.

"Honestly? I have no idea."

I reach out for the tea, really just looking for something to do with my hands, as she sighs and stares off into the distance. I bring the burning cup up to my lips,

"How did you know I liked my tea this way?"

She glances at me, a cheeky glint in her eye. But it isn't sleazy like Justin before, it was just, cheeky.

"I just guessed babe. Did I get it right?"

"Yeah. Yeah you did." I giggle as she sets her arm on top of my thigh, settling in as the tv runs.

----

"Her Kimba? Do you think that you could do that in real life?"

"Do what?"

"That thing where you run off the edge of a cliff and then you just hang there for a moment, until you disappear in a puff of smoke, like the roadrunner?"

"Please dear god tell me that isn't a serious question?"

"I've just always wanted to try it, I guess..." She mumbles out as I start to grasp the meaning of her question,

"No Cheryl. I'm pretty sure you'd just fall right off and then hurt youself." I tell her as I play with the ends of her hair.

"Or worse."

"Or worse." I repeat.

A few moments pass before I hear the intercom go off, and I jump at the sudden sound.

"Who is it?" I ask as I untangle myself from Cheryl and clamber towards the door.

"Justin."

I freeze in my spot, and Cheryl lets out a gasp that pierces through the room.

"I just want to talk."