Dont Help Me

Chapter 23

It's been the same act for the past few days. Go to bed by myself. Be woken up by him whispering sweet nothings in my ear. Get up. Ask him where he was last night. Go to work. Come home, ask him how his day was. Make him dinner before he goes out. Go to bed by myself.

It's a reoccuring cycle, a pattern that I can't find the strength to break free from. He has too much on me now, he holds too much over me. If I leave, I'm alone. Everyone will ask questions. If I leave, then I throw Cheryl under the bus with me. No matter how much pain I am in I can't bring myself to do that. And so I let him have me, whichever way he wants. I let him touch me, I let him kiss me, I let him own me. For at the moment, that is all that is clear in my mind, I am his.

There is a soft rapping on the door at around 5 in the afternoon, Justin isn't home yet, so I let whoever it is in.

"Kimbers. Come here you stupid b!tch." Sarah yells as she pulls me into a tight hug, followed by Nadine behind her.

"I have a bone to pick with you missy."

"And what is that?"

"Justin. Why is that cheating son of a still living in your house woman? And why are you going with him to his brother's wedding? I thought you left him!"

"And hello to you too."

"Kimberley..."

"I did. It's not that simple." I reply, holding my hands to my temples, "How did you know all that anyway?"

"I'm your best friend you dope, best friends find ways. Anywho, care to explain?"

"Sarah," Nadine interjects, "Maybe we could just have a cuppa first?"

"Oh don't be getting soft on me. You were just as eager to know before we stepped inside."

"I know Sarah, but maybe we oughta back off yeh?"

"Yeah, maybe you should." I butt in.

"I'm sorry Kimbers...I just really don't like that man."

I snort,

"You made that pretty clear Saz."

"Well it's just, up until today, I thought you weren't too fond of him either." She questions, placing her hand on my knee as we sit on the kitchen stools.

"Not everything is that simple anymore Sarah, things change."

"And is it you that has changed? Or is it Justin?"

I scowl just at the mention of his name, but I can't help but feel apprehensive about opening up, even if it is to my best friends.

"Look. I'm just sayi- Did somebody's phone just go off?" Sarah continues, getting sidetracked as usual.

"Typical Sarah, gets distracted by anything and everything. Jesus if I didn't know yous better Id think you have ADHD of summet." Nadine scoffs, searching around in her bag for her phone, "Wasn't mine."

"Hang on I'll check mine." I reply as I walk into my bedroom, checking the phone on my nightstand.

1 text message from: Cheryl

I hesitate to open it, but curiosity gets the better of me.

'You probably don't want 2 speak 2 us. I get that.

But I love you.

Kimba please believe us.

I love you, I'm sorry, and I'll explain all this soon.

I love you, incase you didn't get that xx'

I shrink down to the side of my bed, clutching my phone and reading her words over and over again. She said she loves me. But she doesn't. She said she's sorry. But she can't be.