𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐒

𝙘𝙝𝙪𝙧𝙘𝙝

i was originally going to publish like an x reader or something but i read a REALLY good fanfic on ao3 abt my dearest sophia walten (its "small towns" by beeapocalypse i love it it is dear to my heart) so we're just going with sophie as she left the detective station in the previous oneshot mhm
tw: idk, sophie talks a lot abt death and stuff its kinda dark and depressing over in sophie-town rn so yeah.... viewer discretion is advised (also sophie has like a panic attack so yall... stay safe)
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Sophie had always struggled with communication.

When someone asked her what was wrong, when she looked just a bit too upset or was breathing a bit too fast, all honest responses fizzled out of her mouth like vomit and the only one she could spit out was, "Nothing."

Nothing was the only response they got, and they seemed satisfied enough, too occupied with fixing her broken pieces to pry underneath them. For some reason, this was the singular thought Sophie Walten had as she ducked out of the cramped police station and ignored the several lenses that were jabbed in her face as soon as she did. Left, right, left, right. Her legs chanted, propelling her forth like a wooden doll on motor wheels.

She could still taste the sour coffee the detectives gave her when she began to look tired, curdling on her tongue and making a home between the small gap of her teeth. It tasted like when she would wake up from an accidental nap, her legs numb and her brain replaced with a handful of scratchy cotton.

Eventually, she escaped the paparazzi and the pavement under her modest sneakers turned from hot to cold as she finally reached a more shadowed part of town–full of packed buildings that leered at her with their pristine windows and mocked her with the happy families they let her get a glimpse of. Sophie never really partook in those families, not when she was forced into one or dragged into a church absolutely teeming with them.

Not since hers went missing.

When she tapped on that thought, she immediately retracted to the furthest corner of her brain, the place where she could relax and let her body walk for her. She could pull and tug at her muscles until they cracked and ached, roll her neck back until her spine felt less weighed, but the tension would always come back and her spine would always hunch anyways. It was a better method–to simply detach herself from her body instead of tugging at her fingers until they popped out of their sockets.

A church stood proudly at the end of the round, windows stretched with distorted glass occupying their wooden cases. It felt distant, however—like no matter how close she walked to it, she wouldn't be able to inhale the solstice that often came with the quiet tower. She still tried. Anyways, she hadn't been to that church yet. Might as well get to know it.

Pushing open the large door, Sophie relished the smell of wood polish and clean cut clothes. It was purely silent, some rows of wood occupied by smartly dressed men and woman on their knees and praying. She would join them, if she knew how. Her entire family was never religious (if she remembered correctly), but Sophie loved the silence of a church, the pastor at the front who would either glare at Sophie like she was some stray dog wandering into a high class restaurant or pull up his lips in a warm smile. Sophie often wondered if they actually meant to comfort her, or if they were just compelled to be nice to her pitiful self.

She sat on an empty row, pressing her elbows against her knobby knees (Her mama would often point out about how they stuck out, never in a teasing way, more of just an acknowledgement of her daughter's features. On those days, she would put extra food on Sophie's plate, pinch her cheek and smile. She wouldn't remember this for a long time.) and staring at the stone depiction of Jesus at the front of the church. His blank stone eyes, lacking irises, seemed to tilt towards the heaven along with his entire head. Sophie wondered if the statue moved around at night, changing positions just to drive the pastor insane–