I give up thinking I deserve something I can't have.
Anything that happens will be with out a doubt hurtful.
I can't try to change anything and can't have what I want.
I can't continue to have my guard up in fear of everything.
I don't have the energy to want or try to, when it will never be mine no Matter how badly I try to get it.
When you feel something or want anything you have to suppress it
Abstinence, I taught my myself
To need nothing,I can't give myself.
Satisfaction I could never find, did not exist.
So if I look uninterested I am.