TAHERA

Chapter 3

No sleep had started into me the other night. The only word that pondered my head was "friend".

Did he actually want to be my friend? Was he simply trying to initiate a conversation? What if he wants all my belongings? What if he is a psycho-killer?

Seriously Tahera, psycho-killer? All you could come up with, my inner though popped up.

My alarm screamed again, which with all my mighty I didn't snooze. My mind took up with reality when I examined the clock hit 10. Damn, Ramya is going to burn me. After brushing my teeth and hurriedly pouring water over my body, I changed into something decent and flee to the bus stop. The center was a 45 minute drive and it looked like it was taking hours to get to there.

By the time my legs helped me land in the play area I saw a busy Ahmed with the kids and Ramya trying to assist him with something.

I walked off to the cupboard and put my things and removed my shoes and went off to play with the kids.

"Didi is here, now we can have some fum." It was Anjana, she was Anurag's cousin. A 4 year old and all she would speak was English. It was hilarious to listen to her. Her decision to speak even if it was wrong would amaze me. Perhaps she could inspire me, I thought.

"Didi, why is you late today, " she demanded. Her face had brightened seeing me, I wonder what Ahmed was doing with them. I ignored her grammar and told her about how I threw a bad dream and slept away.

"She is lying to you. She had some work, she got the morning off today. I can't consider you have to lie to such a small kid Tahera."

I stood stunned. I did not know if I would hold out for another minute or if I would just dim. It was him again. Yes, he has to poke his nose. He will not leave me. I recalled that I had taken an hour off yesterday and how Ramya had convinced me and afforded me a break in the morning. Then obviously I was not tardy. I was there early. I was happy, but at the same time anxious about something. I could sense a tension behind me and in one case I turned behind I saw a smiling Ramya and an Ahmed-free zone.

"Ramya, I was not lying, I assure you, I forgot that you had given me the day off and I thought I was late and I ran in." I blurted out trying to prove my innocence.

She gave me a warm smile. She knew me well more than my mom did. I was comfortable with her only because of that. She felt the urge to know that I am different and I liked my space and respected that. She never bothered to pass over-limits with me, but she likewise delivered an emotional attachment that I never experienced with anyone else. She was one person whose name is jotted down in the emergency column of my journal. She had a sense of motherhood and sisterhood, which both my body and soul have been craving. At the same time she held it to my limits. We never met or hung out. We only worked and talked during working hours.

"Ahmed is a friendly guy, Tahera. He is just extrovert and doesn't know how to act around you even so. I have enjoined him, but you will have to grant him some time. He needs to separate things, he knows now you are not used to the usual friendly stuff, but since you guys are working together you will have to adapt. I'm hoping you understand. Okay, dear?" Ramya assured.

I nodded and she walked off probably to call back Ahmed.

The children were busy playing and one of them seem to be in trouble finding something.

"What is it, Jay?" he looked upwards and smiled.

That smiled changed my mind backwards to what I can call normal.

"It's just Didi, I can't find the last piece to this puzzle." He looked confused.

In front of me was a puzzle of Tom and Jerry. My mind moved back to my childhood when I was four. My dad had got me a puzzle something like the one in front of me. Me and Ayesha had completed it, we were in the same trouble of settling the last pieces, so waited for dad to come and so he would help. But then I had slept off before he came and the next day I didn't see the puzzle there. After a week it was framed in the living room. My sis had managed it with dad that night. After all, she was the dear one, not me.

"Didi, you are not helping, maybe Ahmed can." Jay said with a scowl.

He called Ahmed and they sat fixing up the puzzle. This day was not going well at all. Foremost, am early, second this guy is throwing me a sick headache!

I walk off to the canteen and settle for a break. My mind can't rest. It has always been like that for me. I never found peace anywhere. Only God knows where it is. I have been the unlucky child since birth. The unexpected surprise that my parents unfortunately accepted. I am forever grateful to my mother for feeding me, she was a nice woman deep inside. The world just consumed her a little too much, I should suppose. I was afraid of emotional bonds. Coming up a place for someone in my heart was out of the question. I was in fear to love, basically because I believe or I was made to trust that even if I love I will not be loved. My heart craved to be loved and the fear of not made me to construct walls or so so that I find comfort in me.

"Not everyone will hurt you, some people are angels without wings". In front of me was Ahmed with his usual cheerful expression. Ignoring him was the best thing I could come up, but it was Ahmed, he drew out the chair and occupied my comfort zone.

"What makes you think people hurt me?" For a second, a part of me, did not want to believe it was me who spoke, but he seemed fine with me talking.

"Ramya mentioned something about how you feel like to be not get close to anyone in awe of being betrayed." I winced at hearing the word but tried ignoring and went backward to my food.

We sat and ate lunch silently for the next 15 minutes. He looks so serene. I wonder what he does on the week days. He was studying something along his mobile.

"It is not betrayal. It is the notion of not having anyone come up and tell you how much you mean to them in their world. It is the rejection that hits you square in the face with no soft touches. That every night you have to go backwards to bed feeling nothing but loneliness. The torment and anguish one goes through in the middle of a crowd is what makes me stay off from the masses around me. I simply have not trusted anyone yet to fail me." it was time for our afternoon sitting, I took of my handbag and went forth the table not waiting for a response.

On my way a part of my heart was at ease. I eventually spilled the beans to somebody about what I experience. A piece of me just wanted to rip me and bury me right there and then. He might have wanted me to consult a psychiatrist soon. He might even ask Ramya to fire me. Who would get up with such absurd explanation.

You!

Ok, I am absurd now. Well it is not new, I am already a horrible daughter, a useless sister, a weird classmate now an absurd co-worker. This sounds pretty interesting. Life couldn't get any better now.

"Was it easy talking out, if it was then practice it frequently? It is not like people can say what passes in that brain of yours". I was startled to see Ahmed right beside me walking. My god, this guy is incredible. He is one unpredictable thing.

"Whatever". I grumble and walk away to the kids. The day was different with him around and I lost my comfort zone. Since the next day was Monday I planned to lead back home immediately and ignored the beach.

It has been two days and no one has inspired me, to be specific personally. My grades would be ruined, ok well not much. But my Sir would take the opportunity to give up the best out of me. He would cause me the clown of the division. He had served this to me on purpose, I knew it. He desired to see me suffer, as if all I am giving way through was not plenty.

Someplace in my deep thoughts those chocolate eyes popped up. Ahmed, how could he actually stand me? He's a very interesting character. Perhaps he could assist me with the project. As if he could find me somebody. Possibly I should attempt at least. Or perhaps I should simply ignore him like the rest.

Or not.

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A/N

OOOOOPS!!!!! GUESS AM A BIT LATE SORRY!!! :) WELL I AM BACK IN TOWN AND INTERNET CONNECTION IS NOT THE BEST HERE AND I GOT BUSY WITH UNPACKING AND CLEANING. HOPE TO UPDATE SOON! AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS THINK AND DO VOTE AND COMMENT. KEEP SUPPORTING.LOVE.PEACE. <3