One Big Mystery

The Trip

   Trigger Warning: This chapter contains brief mentions of assault, and nightmares which can be associated to PTSD or post traumatic stress disorder.  Also mentions of paranoia. Viewer discretion is advised if this topics are triggering.

      I woke up three times that night, the same nightmare over and over again. Two pairs of handcuffs, one holds each wrist to the bed. Him pacing back and forth as he tells me how much he is enjoying this, and every single reason I deserve it. I always wake myself up before he comes back from the shower though not wanting to face what comes next. Finally it's six am when I wake up the last time so I climb out of bed. Then I go get in the shower, I wash my hair, and my body. But I don't look at the scars that adorn it. I instead stare at a certain point on the wall till I'm done showering. Once out I dry my hair then put on some clothes.

   My flight does not leave till close to 9 so I go get my laptop and start typing up a list of anybody that Erica told me bothered her. Also any other details that stick out to me from our emails, texts, and phone calls. We would have face timed tomorrow. We always face time on Friday evenings. Tears well up in my eyes but I just wipe at them. I'm going to find her I think to myself. Then I began to think about whether Erica would have just taken off. As a cop you have to consider every scenario. But Erica would never just go off the grid not with her mom as sick as she is. That's the whole reason she moved to Virginia to take care of her mom. Thas when I know in my heart that somebody took her.

  Around 7:30 am my mother calls me but I ignore the call. I know she will try to talk me out of going. She will say to leave it to the experts, just like she did after they finally caught him. I didn't leave it to the experts though. I sat in that courtroom everyday until he was scented. I did not have to testify but if asked I would have. I would have sat in that stand and told them every detail just like I did while I sat in that hospital bed. I told my story 12 times while I laid there with an IV in my arm keeping me hydrated.  Then I told my story to the therapist when asked. In the beginning it was easy to disassociate. To pretend it like it did not happen to me. But once home from that hospital my family was staring at me waiting for me to break. It was near impossible to get out of bed, to leave my house, even just walk down to the mailbox without a gum at my hip, and pepper spray in my hand. But Erica didn't look at me any differently. She stayed with me a week before she had to head back home. She even convinced me to leave the gun in the safe and carry a taser instead. She is the only person besides the police and my therapist, who knows every little detail from the time I was taken to when I dumped at that hospital.  Now all I hope is that she is not facing what I did. No human being should have to deal with anything like that but unfortunately there are monsters lurking, waiting, and hurting innocent people for their own sick pleasure.

      At 8:20  I take my suitcase down to my car, putting myy laptop and phone in my carryon, along with my headphones so I can listen to music or an audio book to distract my mind on the flight.  The airport is only a 15 minute drive from my house, so after I grab my keys and lock my door. I start heading towards the airport.  Once at the airport I quickly go through security. They still know me from when I was a cop so they don't stop me even when the machine alerts them to the taser, and gun in my suitcase. They just say it's nice to see me back, probably figuring I'm doing outreach work with other victims. They offered to have me do that after it first happened, but I could not then or now. I'm not living, I'm surviving. I don't even know how I could help other victims when I can't even help myself. I shake my head to clear my thoughts trying to keep myself from crying.

      Finally though security I head towards the boarding gates once through they take my big suitcase and I take my carryon. They go ahead and put my big suitcase on the plane. But they are not ready for the passengers to board. So I take a seat, I'm barely sitting 15 minutes when they call my flight so I get up and quickly head onto the plane. Once settled in my seat I put my headphones on and turn on my book. It will only be about a 5 hour flight so I will arrive around 1 or 2 in the afternoon. Which is perfect because I'll have plenty of time to meet this P.I. and get to work. The first 48 hours are the most important. Those are gone but I can still make the 75 hour mark. Which cam still be vital, after that it's up to fate.