Too Good to be Bad 2 | Negan |

19 - I won't regret it

Miguel remains unconcious while I take care of his leg as well as I can with my limited resources. It worries me a little that he won't wake up yet, but I believe he will be all right. He's been through a lot, so his body can use the rest.

I'm remarkably calm as I apply the bandages and clean Miguel up. Perhaps it's just that I have something important to focus on, so I can keep my mind off other things. Like an arrow piercing Cody's throat and a man cutting Kenny open and Alex dissapearing into the trees...

When I'm finally done, I brush my hand over Miguel's hair and cover him with a blanket. He looks younger than ever, dried tears still covering his cheeks. Then I walk over to Negan, who's keeping watch by the window.

'Anything out there?' I ask, leaning against the wall beside the window.

'Haven't seen anything.'

He's leaning against the wall on the other side of the window, scanning the streets with his eyes. But now he tears them away and lands them on me. When I see the concern in his hazel eyes, something breaks inside me. The despair I've been holding back finally breaks through and when the first tears reach my eyes, I just can't stop crying.

Negan is there before I know it and pulls me against him.

'Come here', he says softly.

'Kenny's dead', I whisper into his shoulder, my body heaving with sobs. 'Cody too.'

'Shit', he says softly. He runs a hand over my hair and I hold onto him tightly. I don't want to let go.

'Did you see?' I ask, without taking my head off his shoulder. 'Did anyone else make it?'

'I don't know...' he answers. 'It was chaos. I think I saw Alden get hit, but then I lost sight of him. Then I saw you and the kid and I knew we had to get out of there.'

'Negan', I say, lifting my head to look at him. 'Thank you. You saved him.'

'Of course', he says softly, his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes still full of concern.

'God, I've been such a dick', I tell him suddenly. 'I'm sorry I came at you like a crazy person back at Alexandria.'

'You didn't think I held that against you, did you?' he asks, giving me half a smile. 'I know what you went through.'

'Well, I'm sorry', I say again, wiping a hand over my face. His arms are still around me and it feels good to be nestled up against him. A single sliver of comfort in all this madness. 'And I never even thanked you for saving my life.'

'You don't have to thank me, Lara.'

'When did you become so humble?' I joke.

He snorts shortly, then raises his hand to brush his fingers softly over the scar on my cheek.

'You don't know how much it killed me to do that', he whispers, his forehead almost touching mine. How long has it been since my lips were so close to his? Since I could feel his breath on my face? 'I'm so sorry.'

'I know', I say softly. Staring into his eyes, I can almost forget about everything that happened. At least here, I am safe.

'Why didn't you tell me?' I ask him. 'What you were doing. That you were there to kill the Alpha. I could have helped you.'

He smiles sadly before he answers.

'That's exactly why I didn't tell you, sweetheart. I was worried you wouldn't leave without me if you knew. I needed you to be safe.'

'I didn't want to leave you there', I say agitatedly, remembering how it made me feel when he told me he wasn't coming with me. 'I didn't want you to...'