Waves of Ruin

Chapter 3

I walk back through the fields, taking my way around the different farms. I see the old windmill that I used to play in as a child, the wind lazily pushing it round and round. I wonder if it's still run by the Grandrin family, they used to have a little boy who would play with me and Jaylyn all around their fields. I haven't seen him in almost 5 years, I wonder how he is. I can't seem to remember his name, it was hilm...harim...Hasson? Something with an H I am almost positive.

I walk down the last hill to the gravel street that leads back into the city center. I almost forgot how crowded it gets mid day, another reason I enjoy the ship to this life of unbridled chaos. When I am now in town I decide that I should go visit my brother, I haven't see him since I've been back. It's not that I haven't wanted to, but we have a complicated relationship.

I enter through a door that creaks a little on it's hinges, last time I saw him he was still working under my father, but now he is running his own part of my fathers merchant business. I realize as I walk to the back, that my boots are tracking mud and grass over the polished floors. I am about to leave, realizing I look disheveled when I women approachs me.

"Hello miss, I'm afraid we don't give any hand outs here. You have to scurry along." She says, in what I am sure was supposed to be polite.

I don't even know how to respond, I know I dont look great, but I didn't think I looked like a begger from the streets. I look down at my dirty boots, the pants I've had for years starting to fray in different places, my shirt not quite tucked into my pants, and the hair I rarely care much about is laying down my back in messy waves of ruby.

"What is going on Cynthia?" I hear a voice speak from the back.

I'd recognize that voice anywhere, my brother walks out from the back room over to where I stand. He looks older, more tired than I remember.

"Oh Lily, I didn't know you were stoping by this afternoon, I would have been more prepared." He says almost embarrassed.

Embarrassed to have me here or that he wasn't expecting it I'm not sure. "It was a last minute decision, I hadn't really considered that you'd care if I just stoped in, but maybe I should have sent a letter first." I say, wishing I could just turn around and leave.

"No no, it's fine. I am very busy today, but if you would like to catch up, we could come over for dinner tomorrow at the house."

We? I must look as confused on the outside as I am in my head, because he adds "Me and my wife," motioning to the only other person in the room with us, the women who mistook me for a begger just minutes before "Cynthia and I, that is." he finishes.

I recognize that Leo is waiting for me to say something, "Oh um yes that sounds perfect, I will be there." I say, looking over at is wife I didn't know he had. Something similar to anger washes over me, like an unexpected gush of rain dowsing my once try clothes. I turn to leave, needing to process this by myself, when Cynthia speaks.

"It was lovely meeting you... Lily right?" She says, and if I didn't know any better, I'd think she was lying, but it must be a mistake, she doesn't know me enough to not like me, yet.

"You too." I say quickly, leaving before anything else could be said.

I am lost in thought when I finally see that I am subconsciously made my way to the harbor. Instead of turning to go back home, I head toward my ship, needing to be on it's familiar red oak boards, dirty smell, and chipper crew. Immediately, I feel a thousand times better the moment I step aboard. My crew seems to notice I am back and comes over to greet me.

"Well if it ain't our good ol Cap." Shouts Lilim, for being on the ocean her skin is quit pale, but I guess that could be a sign of her age.

"Good to see you Captain." Ike is sauntering over, his dark skin drips with sweat.

"I am only back for a bit, I just needed-" I start, but I'm not quit sure why I walked here.

"To be closer to the waves eh?" Says Lilim. "I get that way too, why I nev'r leave the ship." She is looking at me but I can see that she doesn't see me right now, her mind is thinking of the ocean. I know that look.

I smile at her and say a quick hello to the rest of my crew as I ahead down to my cabin. Its a single room with a small cot, a trunk at the end for all my things, and a desk that is over run by papers and maps. I look around, forgetting just how small my cabin is to my room back at home. It's a sixth the size and nowhere near as fancy. I have never cared about living in a nice house, but sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision. People in the city would kill for the life I had and I threw it all away for the life of a Captain on a ship that isn't even mine.

I sit down at my desk and look at all the paperwork. None of it will mater if I don't get the money in time. My three years spend here, a waste. All of my crew, my friends will be forced to split up and find new ships that will take them.

I look over at the only picture I have on my desk, I smile when I see it, the glass smudged with dirt, a little crack from one of the many storms that tousled the ship. I pick it up and look at my smiling face, I am standing next to my brother, and he too is grining in the photo. Behind us my parents stand together looking at each other in a way I didn't know was possible, with so much love in their quite stairs I think its magic. They haven't looked at each other like that for years, not since my Papa died. He too is in the photo stand beside my father, his son, and looking at the four of us like we are the only things left in this world, and maybe for him, that was true.

The photo is old, but it's the last one we ever took as a family. I was 11 and wearing the necklace my Papa gave me, holding it in my hand as if it might blow away in the wind. I still do that sometimes, hold the necklace like it might disappear. The same way Papa did.

I look at my brother now, he is trying to hold still, his least favorite thing to do. He always wanted to have adventures and build new things, never stay put in one moment to long.

I guess I get that from him. I love to go new places and travel everywhere I possible can, see as much as I possible can. I thought someday we might do that together, then I left and he stayed. I wonder back on meeting my brothers wife, the fact that I had absolutely no idea he got married. How could my brother not tell me. He I used to be so close, until our Papa died, then everything changed.

I get up and look out the oval window, its the only one in my cabin and I am blessed to have it, it helps me look outside of myself and realize there is more to life and the world than the events that happen to me. It gives me perspective. The waves are so blue I wonder how anyone can not love gazing out at the water all day long.

I finish up some paper work before deciding to go home.