Adam

Dammit dammit I made a huge fool of myself there....I ruined my first and maybe only chance with her. Why can't I just be confident in my own skin for once just once....I could have said more...in fact I should have said more. I even made her feel worse about herself and she definitely regrets inviting me from the first place. She is the girl I have been chasing for so long now and she's the one who broke the ice first but I drowned her in it later. I was too stunned to speak it's like I forgot English or even any language besides it. I hate being shy I hate being insecure why would anyone want someone as me... but who can blame me?! Her voice can make anyone speechless.. her warm welcoming and assuring voice. It's soft and beautiful.
She said her name is "Grace" what a beautiful name it suits her well...of all the names I picked for her this past year the name Grace never crossed my mind. I also felt her touch...the way her hands met mine. They are soft and sweaty probably because she was so nervous. I made her nervous and I really regret it. I never want to make her feel anything but herself when she is around me ...she should feel safe with me..she makes me feel at home whenever I look at her and that's exactly how I want her to feel.
I looked up for the name "Grace" on Instagram until I finally found someone that goes to the same school as me. It's her account. "Grace Garfield" her name is so catchy and it's a fit for media and press.
Her profile picture is just a photo of her all smiley and cuddly. Her bio has nothing but a quote from the book pride and prejudice..."I could easily forgive his pride, if he had not mortified mine." ok girl boss tbh. She doesn't have too many pics mostly her with her grannies and others of her and her girlfriends...can't lie they are all pretty but my eyes are just focused on her.
A beautiful pic caught my eyes she was wearing a bright red long dress ...it's made out of silk...her wavy hairy is all loose. I sometimes imagined having my fingers trail down the waves of her long hair.
I really want to send her a follow her but what if she checks my account..she will think I am so boring as I don't have as many followers as her....and I only have two posts. One of my dog that died two years ago at a car crash...and the other of my fav portrait of her....it's just her in her white tutu...thank God the photo doesn't have details of her face or she will think I am creep to draw her without permission.
I decided to do smth or else I will keep bullying myself for not introducing myself properly to her earlier.
I followed her and sent her a message
"Hey sorry if I am bothering that late at night...I want to make up for that improper conv we had earlier hope I didn't make u feel rejected or any kind of that"
Dammit she is online...she followed me back too that was quick I can't lie
My heart escaped a beat when my phone buzzed
"Ohhhh u don't have to worry about it...I was the only awkward one out there...but anyways it was nice talking to u ...u seem like a very interesting person"
"Tbh I never thought I was like that but thank u....I mean look at u , u dance and socialize even ur name is interesting"
"HEY DON'T CAME NEAR MY NAME!! I SHARE THE LAST NAME AS ANDREW GARFIELD"
"That what I meant by interesting"
"Let's shut this competition....I scrolled through ur feed ...sorry I couldn't help my curious ass who wants to get to know u better....anyway u like ballet right?"
"By that tone I think u are talking about the ballerina portrait"
"Yep the one and only....it's so great the colours and the way u could feel it moving....I am glad that ik now I haven't pushed u on attending the show since u already like ballet dancing"
"I really appreciate ur words....I love that portrait it's so dear to me"
"Lucky u get to draw her that properly"
If only she knows she is the only lucky one out there
"I hate farewells but I have to get my ass on that bed before I would be left with no space to sleep on...my bff Margot say hi btw"
"Mmmm say hi to her back...plus that farewell won't be for long since we are meeting anyways tomorrow"
"7am ballet class XOXO"
"7am art class <3"
That way effortlessly amazing....I haven't noticed it was 3 am already...I have lost track of time as i was texting her
These have been the best minutes of my entire freaking life....I wish I could print that chat and hang it on my wall...dang it I can't wait to see her beautiful face already
I wake up only to find a text message from her
"Morning lovely hope u haven't had ur morning coffee already ....I am heading to the cafe wanna join?!"
OMGGGGGGGG is she really inviting me to have coffee with her....am I dreaming!!!!
I never cared how I looked but since I am hanging out with her I should look perfect.....I found a sweater that I haven't worn for so long it is the same colour as her eyes....I am trying my best to be early but my hair is so messy so I had to cover it up with a bennie....I ended up looking like a homeless boy but there is no time to fix it as it's 6.30 am already