4; the letter i regret sending

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lola's point of viewjanuary 21st, 2023

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lola's point of view
january 21st, 2023

'i wish i knew you wanted me,'
steve lacy's voice filled up my bathroom, and i sang along lightly.

i took off my shower cap and fluffed my afro, keeping the white towel wrapped around me as water ran down my freshly shaved legs.

night showers are so underrated. i'll admit, taking a cold shower at night did feel a little out of place. but, night showers in france just hit incredibly different. everything is more beautiful in paris, and i mean everything.

the other day, at a photo shoot, one of our models became ill and threw up in a rose bush- and she even managed to make that look pretty.

i only started taking cold showers on account of an article i read saying it helped hair growth. i was satisfied with the length of my 3c curls, but i definitely didn't mind adding a few more inches. so, i added cold showers along to my new and improved paris lifestyle.

as much as i'd hate to admit, paris had changed me alot. not in a bad way, or at least i don't think. just small things.

like, i don't eat cereal anymore. i only light peppermint scented candles. i strictly listen to louis armstrong when getting ready. i stopped covering my mouth when i laugh. i don't wear foundation anymore. the only soda i drink is sprite.

like i said, small things.

one thing that certainly hadn't changed though, is my undying love for none other than vincent hacker. which is beyond annoying, cause that's the exact opposite of what i expected to happen.

i really don't even have a right to be annoyed. i basically digged my own deep, depressing grave. i'm the one who chose to break it off. i may have not had the intention of never speaking to him again, but it was still my decision that led to this. so, i'm gonna have to live with it.

i slightly shake my head, as if that'll get the thoughts out of my head, and take off my towel to begin getting dressed. as i pull my oversized shirt over my head, i hear the sound of my phone buzz, notifying me that i received a message.

it was probably owen. she's been messaging me all evening, freaking out over veondre calling her pretty. her little crush was just adorable. i told her that i was willing to ask veondre if she was interested, but she insisted that it'd be too obvious and told me to left it alone. i obliged.

i picked up my phone and unlocked the screen to view the notification, fully expecting to see owen's contact name.

but, i nearly become dizzy when i see vinnie's contact name instead.

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