To be with you.

Trap.

Life has a way to change its course in an unexpected way. We, humans, think that we control every aspect of our life but deep down we know we aren't. Sometimes I feel like a puppet manipulated by someone or something. Maybe it's absurd to think like that but if I think about how my life turned out after Aryan asked me to dance with him, I am sure it's not ridiculous at all. Someone planned everything that had happened to me and... it wasn't me.

It seems like eons ago, but I still remember I felt before Aryan came into my life. Empty. I had everything... Love, friendship, and money but I felt like I had nothing. I know I may sound ungrateful but it's the truth. I was like a barren land with no sign of life in me. I worked like a machine. Eat, sleep, study, and then the same again without really enjoying or looking forward to anything. I wasn't living. I just existed.

I might have slightly indicated that I was interested in his proposal when Aryan asked me. I did. But to be honest I wasn't in my right mind when I talked to him. His nearness made my brain go mushy, taking away my ability to think clearly. His deep voice echoed in my ears as if I was listening to my favorite song, it made me feel all sorts of things. When his chocolate brown eyes met with mine, I felt as if I was drowning slowly.

As you sink deep while drowning, you feel nothing except the cold water around you. No matter how much you struggle, you can't escape the coldness for so long. Even the strongest of minds will give up at some point and let themselves drown. Humans tend to give up their restraints so easily when it comes to torture and pleasure. If drowning in water is torture, losing myself in the sweet honey pool of Aryan's gaze is a pleasure. No wonder I gave up and almost said yes to him.

Although self-doubts swirled in my mind, after talking to Vikram, I felt confident and thought that I could do it. But it was a fleeting emotion that lasted until I saw Aryan the next day waiting for me outside my classroom.

Before coming to class that morning, I rehearsed myself in the mirror on how to act in front of Aryan and what to say when he asks me something but the certainty dashed out of the window when I saw him leaning against the glass wall in the hallway. He was listening to music with his earphones plugged in his ears, and his eyes were lazily roaming around without taking any interest in what they saw.

I took a moment to drink in his features and wondered how handsome he looked even without trying. My heart pounded in my rib cage trying to run to him. Instinctively, I took a couple of steps toward him before realizing what I was doing.

As if I was out of a trance, suddenly the panic set in. Even without doing anything I felt breathless and could hear my heartbeat in my ears. I blamed it on my fears instead of accepting it as my body's reaction to seeing my crush. I had no reason to be afraid of him but for some reason I was and my brain commanded my legs to flee. Thankfully he hasn't noticed me yet, so I went back inside the classroom deciding to use the other exit.

Unfortunately, Aryan's friends were guarding the other exit and they both were searching for me in the crowd of people who were still going out of the class. Since Aryan was lost in his music and careless, I decided to slip through the same exit without gaining his attention. I almost succeeded until I tripped on my leg while glancing at Aryan and dropped my book on the floor making a loud noise.

Aryan's eyes averted from the view outside the building to me hearing the sound over his music. His eyes showed recognition once they found me and he walked toward me removing his earphones from his ears. He wound them around his phone and inserted them in his pocket.

"Hey," he greeted me with a sweet smile. If it was some other time, my insides would have melted seeing him smile like that.

"Hey," I said back nervously as I collected my books and supplies from the floor.