Eddie Munson Headcanons & More *+=

Steddie - The Renaissance Faire

Dustin begged. "Listen, Steve. It's super fun, everyone dresses up!" He was pleading, his hands were put together as if in prayer and his eyes gleamed with desperation.

"I'm not going with you to a renaissance faire, Dustin." Steve rolled his eyes. He wasn't doing it. That was a stupid idea, a pointless one. Renaissance faires were for geeks who spoke with posh medieval accents and wore historically inaccurate dresses and corsets. Wasn't his thing.

Robin laughed from the corner, where she was shelving movies. "You should go, Steve. Maybe you'd meet a fair maiden."

"Yeah, yeah, no thanks." Steve swatted at her with his hand. She only scoffed and went back to work, pushing The Breakfast Club into place.

Dustin pushed again, begging, "Please! My friend Eddie wears this kilt and..."

"We're going." Steve grabbed him by his shoulder and pushed him outside. Dustin nearly tripped and fell into the curb. "Now. Get in the car immediately, Henderson."

"Okay, Jesus!" Dustin sat on the passengers' side, and watched as Steve, as if driven by something other, something not at all human, put on the ignition and sped to the renaissance faire. "Why do you want to go all of a sudden?"

Steve only looked at him once. His eyes dark. His hands gripping the wheel with his life, knuckles drained of color. Sheet white. "If you say there is a man in a kilt... I am in." He growled.

Dustin was a little terrified. A little, or, maybe... a lot! "Okay?" He piped up, small.

They were at the faire in mere minutes, the ride over suffocating, with Steve seeming to take in all of the air in the car, breathing deep and raggedly through his nose, nostrils flaring like a wild animal. A beast in the daylight. It was terrifying, seeing Steve like that. Savage and seeming to operate on desire or something not at all human. Something other. He parked sloppily in the rocky parking lot, and the engine died out quietly, as if even the car were afraid of him.

Steve's fingers dug into his shoulder. Nails like talons, cruel and grotesque. Stuck right through his shirt and sharp through his skin. Dustin winced, afraid of his best friend for the very first time. "Henderson. Take me to this Eddie right now."

"Um, could we get a turkey leg first?" Dustin whimpered.

He cried out, "No, I'm a vegan today, Dustin! Only Impossible turkey legs, and it's the goddamned eighties, vegans didn't exist yet, nonetheless Impossible meat!"

Impossible meat or no meat at all, Steve thought. Only Impossible meat, and it wasn't invented yet.

Impossible meat aside, Steve needed to see this Eddie guy, in action. Stat! A.S.A.P! He grabbed Dustin by the head and ran him into the renaissance faire. He was seeing this man in his kilt right now, if that meant he would never see a thing again.

A man in a kilt was all Steve needed to see before he became a happy blind man.

Period. Blank.

Steve made sure Dustin kept on the path. He made sure... and as he led him through the crowds with women and men dressed as wenches and knights... heh, he knew he was creeping closer and closer to Eddie Munson, some metalhead freak, in a kilt.

Dustin sighed and pointed. "He's in that tent, probably getting ready to start his shift."

Steve ripped the cloth of the tent and made a hole to enter through. He stepped inside the purple fabric and saw long hair and caught doe eyes in a mirror. If that didn't make him fall in love, the red kilt sure did. The black hatched lines were etched so beautifully into the fabric. Steve wanted to just reach out and touch the kilt. Just one tiny feel. "Dude, what are you doing in my tent?" Eddie said, looking into the mirror. Looking at Steve through the mirror.

"I would like to fornicate with you in that there kilt!" Steve said in a British accent. Eddie turned around and looked him up, then down. He then hung his head in laughter.

"Ha!" He hiccuped out. "You think I'd want to hook up with you? I know you, you're that Steve guy. The rich asshole. No, no thanks. I'm not looking for a guy like you. Or anyone." He then strummed his medieval instrumental. A melody poured from it before the strings went still. "I pursue only the faire's goods and offers! And its lovely people."

Steve took a step closer. Their noses almost brushed. "Yeah, well, there's something in it for you, Eddie my kilt-y love."

"Yeah, like what?"

"I'm planning to invent the Impossible franchise, as in, Impossible Meat." Steve explained. "I'd be the CEO. In about forty years, I'll be a multimillionaire. Billionaire, either very close or right there." He tilted his head as if he were about to lean into a kiss, yet he only went on about his plant-based business ventures. "If you allow me to caress your kilt, I'll share stock with you. And become your Impossible Meat lover."

Eddie thought this over. Impossible Meat, a trademark not yet taken, a concept not yet born in any man's mind, a company not yet pursued until Steve Harrington. A brilliant idea of mimicking meat's texture and taste with the use of plants. It was hard to say no. "All right. I accept your offer."

Steve took him by the hips. "Then come hither, Impossible Eddie!"

Author's note: Fun fact Steve actually did become the CEO of Impossible Meat it's gonna be in season 5!!!!! I really cant wait ugh its gonna be so good