𝘣𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘮 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 ~ 𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐢𝐧 𝐛𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐞𝐲

chapter two

chapter two
dear diary

YOU'VE BEEN TEARING ME APART IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT
I'LL BE RAISING MY HANDS WHEN THE LIGHTNING STRIKES

March 13, 1980

Dear Diary,

Something is wrong with me. Something is wrong with me. Something is wrong with me. Something is wrong with me. Something is wrong with me. Something is wrong with me. Something is wrong with me. Something is wrong with me. Something is wrong with me. Something is wrong with me. Something is wrong with me. Something is wrong with me.
Something is wrong with me. Something is wrong with me.

Tears stained the page as Adhira choked back sobs, frantically scrubbing the words over and over again on the paper. Her chest heaved as she struggled to take in breaths, lungs burning and ears ringing. The tears blurred her vision, Adhira was sure she wasn't writing straight.

Something is wrong with me. Something is wrong with me. Something is wrong with me. Something is wrong with me. Something is wrong with me. Something is wrong with me. Something is wrong with me. Something is wrong with me. Something is wrong with me. Something is wrong with me. Something is wrong with me. Something is wrong with me.

The words spanned along three pages, front and back. Adhira went to bed shortly after finishing those words, but she'd be lying if she said she got any sleep.

January 21st, 1981

Dear Diary,

Hey, it's me again. I haven't written in you since 7th grade, and i'm a few months away from my freshman year. That's insane, right? Joey is still driving me nuts, classes aren't getting any easier.. Oh! And there's still something deeply wrong with me. I think I have a crush on ROBIN. Yes, you heard that right. Robin. I hope no one sees this.. I'll be ruined for life. I didn't get it at first, when girls would talk about boys they thought were cute. I never thought any of them were cute... only Elvis. Elvis is my soulmate. But I just thought they had bad taste... until it hit me that I had no taste for them.

"Adhira!" Joey's voice rang through the house from the bottom of the stairs. Adhira flinched, the end of the m in her word dragging across the page. "Dinner!"

"Coming!" Adhira shouted back, "Tell Mom to give me a few!"

"Tell mom to give me a few!" Joey mimicked. Adhira groaned, rolling her eyes as she picked up the pen again.

anyway. I went to the library. and I checked out a bunch of books, a whole bunch of books. And I read all of them.. start to finish. Except the dictionary. The term is homosexual. For me, I like other girls. Just girls.. except Elvis.. what. a. MAN!!! I read that there can be heterosexual tendencies for homosexuals.. he might be mine. It must not be rare if it's in the dictionary, right? I've never seen it on TV.. or in music. But it can't be only me. Right? If it was only me it wouldn't be in the dictionary. Right? I don't know.. But I know I can never tell Robin. She'd never talk to me again. I can't have that. Especially since this is a crush, mom always talks about how crushes pass. I just have to ride this through. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe all the boys here are ugly and that's why I don't like them. Looks are very important to me. Sort of.