i wanna be yours | clara x emily

eleven

hello hellooooo! very early morning post because i need to start studying for my finals next week. i'm extremely exhausted, but it's almost over🥲

also not proofread, are we surprised?✨

happy readings and stay safe besties! -salem🤍

TW: NSFW, smut! 18+, swearing
word count: 3678

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Luke: "You've got to find yourself first. Everything else'll follow." Charles de Lint.

Emily sighed heavily as she grabbed her personal laptop. The raven-haired woman was facing a big dilemma. After such a stressful week from work, she needed to have something in order to numb her.

However, she was still terrified of doing the wrong thing with Clara. It was easy the first time since Clara didn't allow Emily to do anything to her. The raven-haired woman just wanted to make Clara feel equally as good.

Emily, being a Yale alumni and excellent leader of the BAU, was now doing research. Specifically, scrolling through several websites that advertise that they are a porn site for women. She watched a few videos which now caused her mouth to be dry and her self confidence to be lower.

She looked up articles after articles discussing the 'Basics of Lesbian Sex.' Emily felt humiliated as she tried to find anything to help her. Her entire body felt overheated as she leaned back into her bed.

Emily continued her search, even crossing over to various different porn websites. The women were obviously faking it in a few videos based on their exaggerated moans and utter nonsense spilling from their mouth.

She felt helpless.

Emily grabbed her bag and shoes before making her way to her car. She sat in her car for a second before starting it. Emily didn't know how, but she found herself in Dupont Circle, a well-known gay neighborhood in Washington DC.

The raven-haired woman managed to park her car before heading into one of the shops. It was a local cafe with nothing special about the building itself. The only thing that drew Emily in was the crowd of people and the rainbow flag waving proudly outside.

"Hello! For how many?" one of the hostesses asked Emily. The raven-haired woman looked around at the various couples that were around her.

"Uh, just one," Emily said and stuffed her hands into her pockets. The hostess smiled at her before grabbing her a menu and leading her towards the back. "Thank you."

Emily didn't know exactly what she was doing here. Actually, she knew exactly why but she didn't want to admit it to herself. The raven-haired woman wanted to get rid of this running anxiety with Clara. She didn't want to have to drink to have sex with her or talk to her like a normal person. Emily knew that Clara now had more experience, and she was scared she might say the wrong thing to her all the time.

Emily wanted to be as good as can be with Clara. She didn't want to be the inexperienced girl who slows her down in her busy life. In other words, Emily felt like a burden.

Everyone explores their own sexuality differently and at different stages of their life. Emily had no idea what she was doing, but all she knew was she wanted to have this end good for her and Clara. She wanted to find out what exactly it is that she felt comfortable calling herself.

So that lead to Emily being here, in a gay neighborhood, in a gay cafe, having very gay thoughts about another gay woman. She was panicking only slightly.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

Emily furrowed her eyebrows as she grabbed her phone from her bag. She saw the name and answered it. "Please don't say you called me to tell me we have a case."