The Good Life

Chapter 109

Marla sat down in the big mahagony chair next to Bruno feeling his sweaty palms. She couldn't quite figure out if she should be comforting him or if they both were supposed to be that freaked out. The doctor took his seat at the messy desk sliding his chair over to a small x ray machine putting up the MRI results. "Mrs. Hernandez...do you see those small white spots?"

"Those have always been there. That's what causes all this..." she told him.

"Mhmmm. And then do you see these bigger round ones.." he moved his hand over to the top right of her brain.

"Those...no...those are new." She said quietly. "And not the same..."

"You're right...." He pulled the x rays off and slid over to his desk pulling out more papers. "Those new ones are signs of a trans ischemic.."

"Stroke." Bruno ended the statement.

"Like your grandmother had....." Marla gasped. "And my aunt had...."

"What happens next?" Bruno asked.

"Well..." he said explaining exactly what he thought had happened in between the last few days on a neurological level. Marla comprehended all of it while Bruno just sat and stared. She leaned over to him as the doctored turned around.

"I'll tell you when we get home." She told him.

"Okay..." he said nervously. "But she's not going to die is she?" Bruno asked.

"There is a chance that your wife could suffer quite a bit from these strokes. At your age and fitness level and all other things included, I see the medication I'm going to prescribe you to hold off any other effects." The doctor said. "And we're going to change up your other medications as well." He handed her a prescription. "You will be okay." He told her. "This is obviously another setback....but we know so much about this that there are many ways to fix it."

"Will it happen again?" Marla asked almost turning white.

"It might." The doctor said.

"Oh." Marla answered looking at the medicine. "We can do this, Bruno." She told him.

"We can." He said still as nervous on the inside as she was on the outside. They took the paper and set a follow-up appointment and walked to Sylvia. She told her mother what was going on causing her mother to almost break down in tears.

"But, mama. It will be okay. It always is." Marla told her mother as they went to their cars. Marla and Bruno said good bye to Sylvia getting in Bruno's car. She watched him carefully get in the car putting his keys in the ignition to start it. She sniffed her nose a little starting to cry. "It's not going to be oaky."

Bruno turned to her with the same look on his face as he had every single time something bad was going to happen. "I don't know what's going to happen, Marley. I keep trying to be strong for you, but this time...I just don't know what to do for you to make it better."

"Just write me a letter tonight. That will help." She told him watching his hands grip the steering wheel tightly.

**

Dear Marla,

This is going to be long. Put on your reading glasses.

Mar, I love you. I love you more today than I did yesterday and I'll love you more tomorrow than I did today. I love our life together and I love what we have. But if I said that all this was easy I would be the biggest liar in the world. It's so hard, Mar. I went to the studio today and drank the rest of the Vodka we had left. I didn't write anything. I was just there. It was me and my music. And I cried. Mar...I know we've cried together but it's hard to be so strong when no matter how hard we try something always gets in the way of us being the happy family that we are. I can't even begin to explain how I feel when these things happen. It's like being with you when you told me you had epilepsy so long ago. My heart races and my emotions go crazy and I can't help but think what if I didn't have you. What if the next thing that happens is it? What if you don't wake up? Or it changes you so much that you really can't remember me? No matter how hard I try? I know these are all what ifs and you don't answer these. It's those things that drive me crazy and go on in my head. I know you know exactly what I'm thinking and when I finish writing this you're going to put your arms around me, half asleep, telling me that everything is going to be okay. But I just don't know what okay is anymore. It breaks me into a million pieces to even think about tomorrow and what it's going to be like. Marla, I don't think, no, I know, I would not be able to nost perfect and amazing life and you keep getting in the way of it being perfect. Just tell me why. Why???

And then you'll tell me to believe in fate and have faith in what is happening. I've lost faith in all of it Marla. I've lost it all. .....